¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How is the law enforcement in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2021-12-23 225

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, I brief on my country's law enforcement. My country has a relatively unified and intergrated approach to law enforcement. For example, The National Police Agency(NPA) provides all policing service for people across the country. So local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.

In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws such as some orgarnizaions under Ministry of Justice and Ministry of Economy and Finance. For example, they enforce laws for border control or taxation and so on. But they are not called police in Korea.

The organizaions enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and dicourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Steve! You did an amazing job!  You have delivered your ideas in an orderly way. Keep it up!

- Debbie

First of all, I brief on my country's law enforcement.
>> First of all, I will brief you on my country's law enforcement.

My country has a relatively unified and intergrated approach to law enforcement. 
>> My country has a relatively unified and integrated approach to law enforcement. 

For example, The National Police Agency(NPA) provides all policing service for people across the country. 
>> This is a good sentence.

So local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.
>> Therefore, the local police organizations are directly under the NPA, based on the unitary system.

In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws such as some orgarnizaions under Ministry of Justice and Ministry of Economy and Finance. 
>> In addition, there are some independent agencies that enforce a specific law or laws, such as some of the organizations under The Ministry of Justice and The Ministry of Economy and Finance.

For example, they enforce laws for border control or taxation and so on. 
>> This is a good sentence.

But they are not called police in Korea.
>> However, they are not called police in Korea.

The organizaions enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and dicourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.
>> The organizations enforcing laws are most concerned with the punishment of crimes, but they also try to prevent crimes and discourage a wide range of non-criminal violation of rules and norms through the imposition of less severe dealings such as probation.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114315 What are the positive things about watching TV? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 159
114314 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 189
114313 essay about \"Have you ever been to a farm?\" ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 199
114312 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 359
114311 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 144
114310 I think it is Busan. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114309 My day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 3
114308 What has been the most rewarding experience of your career thus... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 164
114307 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 127
114306 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114305 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 0
114304 My promise ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1
114303 Which one should I read first? ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 285
114302 Animals can be friends with people. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1052
114301 If you can change one of your personalities, what would it be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 827
114300 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 1323
114299 What do you do after learning that you did something wrong? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 213
114298 ESSAY Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 658
114297 Halloween ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 230
114296 Do you think parents must set time limits for their children to... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 158

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04