¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The value of friendship

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¿Ï
2022-01-06 394

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Humans are social animals. Since we born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lover , co-workers, etc.
Among them, it is no exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values. When we was in school, we can learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends in school which is a kind of small society. In addition, most of friends are same age group with me so I can tell my concerns or any talks which even I can't tell to my parents. Finally, when I have a big problem in my life, friends will help and comfort me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, James! Thanks for sharing your overview about the value of friendship. I admire you on how you value your friends this much. They must be  proud of you then. I wish I have a friend like you. I appreciate you for writing this essay. Keep it up! See you later.

~T. Annie




Humans are social animals.
>>Correct!
 Since we born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lover , co-workers, etc.
>>Since we were born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lovers , co-workers, and etc.
Among them, it is no exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values.
>>Among them, it is not an exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values.
 When we was in school, we can learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends in school which is a kind of small society.
>>  When we were in school, we could learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends which is a kind of small society.
In addition, most of friends are same age group with me so I can tell my concerns or any talks which even I can't tell to my parents. 
>>In addition, most of my friends are my age so I can tell them my concerns or discuss any topics which I can't tell my parents.
Finally, when I have a big problem in my life, friends will help and comfort me.
>>Finally, when I'm in trouble , they  help and comfort me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116202 Robot chefs unviled at boot camp to cut troops workloads,... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 1
116201 mental health ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 847
116200 22-02-07 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 0
116199 most interesting place in Korea ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 554
116198 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 647
116197 2022.2.8 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 406
116196 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 475
116195 What\'s the reason why people are no longer giving marriage... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 4
116194 Hi Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 324
116193 Writing Task (Feb 8th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 428
116192 2/8 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 426
116191 02.08 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 0
116190 What are you going to do tomorrow? / Why are you going to do... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 593
116189 3 out of 10 women in Seoul say they are willing to have children... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1
116188 do you want to be famous? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 379
116187 If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 490
116186 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 351
116185 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 836
116184 What do you think about (not) having hobbies? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 914
116183 Should voting be compulsory? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04