¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The value of friendship

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¿Ï
2022-01-06 395

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Humans are social animals. Since we born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lover , co-workers, etc.
Among them, it is no exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values. When we was in school, we can learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends in school which is a kind of small society. In addition, most of friends are same age group with me so I can tell my concerns or any talks which even I can't tell to my parents. Finally, when I have a big problem in my life, friends will help and comfort me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, James! Thanks for sharing your overview about the value of friendship. I admire you on how you value your friends this much. They must be  proud of you then. I wish I have a friend like you. I appreciate you for writing this essay. Keep it up! See you later.

~T. Annie




Humans are social animals.
>>Correct!
 Since we born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lover , co-workers, etc.
>>Since we were born, we meet numerous people such as family, friends, lovers , co-workers, and etc.
Among them, it is no exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values.
>>Among them, it is not an exaggeration to say that friends have the most influence on individual values.
 When we was in school, we can learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends in school which is a kind of small society.
>>  When we were in school, we could learn how to live and communicate with other people through friends which is a kind of small society.
In addition, most of friends are same age group with me so I can tell my concerns or any talks which even I can't tell to my parents. 
>>In addition, most of my friends are my age so I can tell them my concerns or discuss any topics which I can't tell my parents.
Finally, when I have a big problem in my life, friends will help and comfort me.
>>Finally, when I'm in trouble , they  help and comfort me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116182 How do you think other people see you when you make a mistake? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 0
116181 Has a mistake ever made you think deeply about a problem? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 0
116180 Appointment ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 2
116179 write about your earthquake preparation, and the reasons for it. À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 2
116178 homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 682
116177 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 10
116176 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 697
116175 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1
116174 Do you think there will be more or less crime in the future?... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 222
116173 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 500
116172 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 4
116171 What is the best lesson you have learned from one of your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 448
116170 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 537
116169 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 224
116168 Abroad ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 4
116167 Which do you think is better to rent or to buy a property? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 3
116166 Do you become impatient when you have to wait in a long line? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 477
116165 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 625
116164 Writing Essay ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1314
116163 Why kids should follow the school rules. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 487

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04