¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that having a lot of money can make you happy? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-01-18 315

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

No, I don't. Because I think having a lot of great people is more important than having a lot of money. Through money, I can do many things, but it can't make me happy. I think feelings are valuable. I can't buy it with a lot of money. Money can't make me happy but it can be a way which I can feel happy. For example, having a lot of money can't make me happy but spending a lot of money for the people around me can make me happy. So, I hope that I will not do bad things to have a lot of money in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly!

Yes, that is true. Money cannot but memories and our happiness but it can be a way for us to be. So at some point, it is still important. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

No, I don't. 
>> No, I don't because I think having a lot of great people is more important than having a lot of money.

Because I think having a lot of great people is more important than having a lot of money.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

 Through money, I can do many things, but it can't make me happy. 
>> CORRECT

I think feelings are valuable. 
>> I think feelings are more valuable. 

I can't buy it with a lot of money. 
>> CORRECT

Money can't make me happy but it can be a way which I can feel happy. 
>> Money can't make me happy but it can be a way for me to be happy. 

For example, having a lot of money can't make me happy but spending a lot of money for the people around me can make me happy. 
>> CORRECT

So, I hope that I will not do bad things to have a lot of money in the future.
>> So, I hope that I will not do bad things when I have a lot of money in the future. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116262 pick pick ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 3
116261 hw ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1129
116260 What would you do if you woke up one morning and all of the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 797
116259 homework.2 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 456
116258 homework.1 ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 703
116257 Why I don\'t want to live in another country. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 368
116256 Wht I like my city ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1218
116255 2 in 3 young people positive about plant-based meat consumption À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116254 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 421
116253 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 2
116252 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 629
116251 Kids should play chess with their friends ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 429
116250 Benefits of using computer or laptop ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1096
116249 resilient ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 470
116248 When a stranger greets you, do you greet him/her back? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 9
116247 What is more important for you nowadays, to be healthy or to be... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116246 What daytime activity do you think you enjoy? Answer in a few... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116245 Homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 2
116244 If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 413
116243 my work ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04