¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that having a lot of money can make you happy? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-01-18 317

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

No, I don't. Because I think having a lot of great people is more important than having a lot of money. Through money, I can do many things, but it can't make me happy. I think feelings are valuable. I can't buy it with a lot of money. Money can't make me happy but it can be a way which I can feel happy. For example, having a lot of money can't make me happy but spending a lot of money for the people around me can make me happy. So, I hope that I will not do bad things to have a lot of money in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly!

Yes, that is true. Money cannot but memories and our happiness but it can be a way for us to be. So at some point, it is still important. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

No, I don't. 
>> No, I don't because I think having a lot of great people is more important than having a lot of money.

Because I think having a lot of great people is more important than having a lot of money.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

 Through money, I can do many things, but it can't make me happy. 
>> CORRECT

I think feelings are valuable. 
>> I think feelings are more valuable. 

I can't buy it with a lot of money. 
>> CORRECT

Money can't make me happy but it can be a way which I can feel happy. 
>> Money can't make me happy but it can be a way for me to be happy. 

For example, having a lot of money can't make me happy but spending a lot of money for the people around me can make me happy. 
>> CORRECT

So, I hope that I will not do bad things to have a lot of money in the future.
>> So, I hope that I will not do bad things when I have a lot of money in the future. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116302 Why I buy for some home appliances for my family. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 819
116301 Why I like shopping. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 346
116300 Why I like saturday. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 351
116299 Writing Task (Feb 9th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 543
116298 2/10 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 375
116297 Homework ¼Õ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 482
116296 Do you forgive people easily when they did something bad to you?... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 309
116295 homework(1) Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 279
116294 homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 0
116293 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 914
116292 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 621
116291 Affect of newspaper ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 522
116290 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 504
116289 WRITING ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 418
116288 WRITING ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 1
116287 WRITING ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 0
116286 Writing ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 0
116285 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 261
116284 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 371
116283 The Plant-based meat ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-10 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04