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 What do you think is the worst thing about being in the army?

작성자: 변*원
2022-01-19 743

회원님의 영작문

I think the worst thing about being in army is that early 20s youths learns unfair system of military. Unfair system is caused from one principle. \\\\\\\"When a superior commands something, a subordinate should always obey the order whatever it is and however the circumstance is.\\\\\\\"
The problem is here. As time goes by, every subordinates become superiors regardless of the ability to deal with problematic situation.
And every orders from superiors must be done regardless of(whether?) it (is)being fair , appropriate or moral
That is, youth gains power so easily as they become superior, and the power given without effort or approval from the rest can be easily used badly or greedily
I think that is the worst thing being in army. Adapting to the unfair order system.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, John! ^^
Thank you for the composition.
See you in our next week! :)

~ Teacher Tricia


I think the worst thing about being in army is that early 20s youths learns unfair system of military. 
>> I think the worst thing about being in the army is that the youths of the early 20's learn the unfair system of the military. 

Unfair system comes from one principle. "When a superiod commands something, a subordinate should always obey the order whatever it is and however the circumstance is."
>> An unfair system comes from the principle, "When a superior commands something, a subordinate should always obey the order whatever it is and however the circumstance is."

The problem is here. As time goes by, every subordinates become superiods regardless of the ability to deal with problematic situation.
>> The problem here is, as time goes by, every subordinate becomes superior regardless of the ability to deal with a problematic situation.

And every orders from superiors must be done regardless of(whether?) it (is)being fair or appropriate.
>> And every order from superiors must be done regardless of whether it is being fair, appropriate, or not.

That is, youth gains power so easily as time goes by, and the power given without effort or approval from the rest can be easily used badly or greedily
>> With that being said, youth gains power so easily as time goes by, and that power is given without effort or approval from the rest and it can be easily used badly or greedily.

I think that is the worst thing being in army. Adapting to the unfair order system.
>> I think that is the worst thing about being in the army, adapting to the unfair order of the system.
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