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영작교정 게시판

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서비스 입니다.

What were your worse experience of rejection and best experience of acceptance?

작성자: 김*경
2022-02-18 360

회원님의 영작문

My worse experience of rejection is my failure to get the job that I want. I was thinking about getting a job different from my major, that is in the tourism business before my graduation. I think my major didn't suit me that much. I was so full of troubles at that time that I wanted to get a new job that could open my new life. However, it was hard to get a job different from major in a tight job market. In a final interview, the boss got puzzled about engineering students applying for tourism business. He didn't look convinced why he should choose me despite my long story. He might consider my story as just lame excuses. I failed to get a job and realized it is almost impossible to get a job different from my major.

My best experience is my success to get a job that I am working here. However, the preparation for changing my job was not that easy. However, I couldn't keep this unbalanced life any more, I kept challenging for a new job. I finally did it by the Grace of God

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Steve! Thank you for doing your homework!  Please be careful with tenses though. 

- Debbie

My worse experience of rejection is my failure to get the job that I want. 
>> My worst experience of rejection was my failure to get the job that I wanted.

I was thinking about getting a job different from my major, that is in the tourism business before my graduation.
>> Before graduation, I was thinking about getting a career different from my major. I wanted a job in the tourism business.

I think my major didn't suit me that much.
>> I thought my major didn't suit me that much.

I was so full of troubles at that time that I wanted to get a new job that could open my new life. 
>> I had a lot of trouble at the time that I wanted to get a new job that could help me start a new life. 

However, it was hard to get a job different from major in a tight job market.
>> However, it was hard to get a job different from my major in a tight job market.

In a final interview, the boss got puzzled about engineering students applying for tourism business.
>> In the final interview, the boss got puzzled about engineering students applying in the tourism business.
 
He didn't look convinced why he should choose me despite my long story. 
>> He didn't look convinced of my story.

He might consider my story as just lame excuses.
>> He might have considered it lame.

I failed to get a job and realized it is almost impossible to get a job different from my major.
>> I failed to get a job and realized it was almost impossible to get a job different from my major.

My best experience is my success to get a job that I am working here.
>> My best experience was when I succeeded in getting my current job.

However, the preparation for changing my job was not that easy. 
>> This is a good sentence.

However, I couldn't keep this unbalanced life any more, I kept challenging for a new job.
>> I couldn't keep this unbalanced life anymore, so I kept looking for a new job.

I finally did it by the Grace of God
>> I finally did it by the grace of God.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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