¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the worst invention ever and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-21 653

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, guns, bombs, and other weapons are the worst invention ever.
I can't know the exact purpose of those weapons, but nowadays, people are killing one another with those weapons.
Because of these things, people who don't have any faults are dying.
And we shouldn't make these kinds of circumstances.
That's why I think the weapons such as guns, and bombs are the worst invention to the humans.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

I heard from one of my students that the inventor of bombs didn't intend to make it to kill other people, but to use it for mining. So, there are different  usages for these weapons but people use it for violence. Many innocent people are greatly  affected by this. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, guns, bombs, and other weapons are the worst invention ever.
>>In my opinion, guns, bombs, and other weapons are the worst inventions ever.

I can't know the exact purpose of those weapons, but nowadays, people are killing one another with those weapons.
>> I know the exact purpose of those weapons, but nowadays, people are using it to kill one another. 

Because of these things, people who don't have any faults are dying.
>> Because of these things, many people become victims. 

And we shouldn't make these kinds of circumstances.
>> CORRECT

That's why I think the weapons such as guns, and bombs are the worst invention to the humans.
>> That's why I think the weapons such as guns, and bombs are the worst invention by humans.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115312 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115311 What genre of book do you enjoy most? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 505
115310 Homework (1/5) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 2
115309 Where do you want to visit this year? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 0
115308 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 687
115307 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 836
115306 Greetings can be expressed verbally and physically. How can... Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 4
115305 What\'s new with you since you moved to Canada? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 503
115304 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115303 law ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 722
115302 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1208
115301 fairy tale I know. ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 456
115300 Do you like meeting new people? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 485
115299 Homework Jan.6th. 2022. ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 386
115298 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 902
115297 What is your long term goal? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-06 1
115296 criteria to recruiting nurses ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 658
115295 What would you do if most of your friends couldn¡¯t make it to... ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 541
115294 Music can make people to one ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 628
115293 What is your favorite Korean traditional game? Explain how this... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 2187

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04