¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Give me one big mistake that you have done and what lesson have you learned from it.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-03-15 729

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was at 10 years old, I stole money from my grandmother's wallet. so my parents took off my clothes and threw me out in the middle of winter. Fortunately, no one saw it because it was an apartment. I learned it's hard to make money. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic!

Oh dear! I was shocked when I was reading your answer. That experience is eye-opening. Hahaha!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

When I was at 10 years old, I stole money from my grandmother's wallet. 
>> CORRECT

so my parents took off my clothes and threw me out in the middle of winter. 
>>So my parents took off my clothes and threw me out in the middle of winter. 

Fortunately, no one saw it because it was an apartment.
>> CORRECT

 I learned it's hard to make money. :)
>>  I learned it's hard to earn money. :)

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117849 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 1096
117848 Baby Shark ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 947
117847 How would you describe your personality? Are you happy with your... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 476
117846 What are your favorite desserts? And why? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 793
117845 Tell me about the first time you went to the movie theater? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 795
117844 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 500
117843 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 3
117842 homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 749
117841 The next vacation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 5
117840 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 666
117839 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 1
117838 I refused my employee\'s request to change his colleague. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 632
117837 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 670
117836 bread ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 539
117835 What is something that people often get pressured into doing? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 487
117834 Thank you for checking the English composition every time. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 583
117833 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 543
117832 2022.3.29 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 558
117831 What disadvantages does wearing school uniforms have? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-30 585
117830 This is just what I practised making sentences for Speaking in... ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-29 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04