¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework!(About beauty)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*°æ
2022-03-21 620

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it depends on the job.

People who show their appearance around need a beautiful appearance. For example, celebrities and people in the service industry can benefit more by cultivating themselves and looking beautiful.

However, people with other jobs don't have to be beautiful. Instead, you have to develop your own abilities and express yourself.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Monday, Hazel! ^^
You've made great sentences in this composition. 
Keep it up!

- T. Rina

1. I think it depends on the job.
>> CORRECT!

2. People who show their appearance around need a beautiful appearance. 
>> CORRECT!
OR: People who always appear in front of many people need to look physically beautiful.

3. For example, celebrities and people in the service industry can benefit more by cultivating themselves and looking beautiful.
>> CORRECT!

4. However, people with other jobs don't have to be beautiful. 
>> CORRECT!

5. Instead, you have to develop your own abilities and express yourself.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116886 Ryu Hyun Jin ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 247
116885 HOMEWORK: What¡¯s good or bad about having packed lunches? ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 517
116884 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 518
116883 What are two foods that you\'re craving to eat right now? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 627
116882 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 2
116881 What is the hardest part of learning English? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 756
116880 lesson 8 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 345
116879 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 798
116878 Seoul vows to become digital emotional culture city À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 1
116877 What is your favorite holiday? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 1
116876 Which famous celebrity influenced you the most and why? º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 572
116875 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 652
116874 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 546
116873 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 418
116872 How do celebrate children\'s day when you were young? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 614
116871 Homework °í*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-27 530
116870 Have you ever gotten lost while traveling, if so, tell about it? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-27 2
116869 What kind of questions would you like to ask your interviewers?... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-27 781
116868 What do you think about countries that ban or restrict the media? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-27 525
116867 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-27 797

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04