무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Why is obesity increasing?

작성자: 김*인
2022-03-22 996

회원님의 영작문

As the quality of modern lives is improved, people's eating habits are also changed. This is because they seek convenient life due to their busy routines. For instance, people prefer to eat simplify, such as junk food. These foods are lopsided with nutrients. People can buy it easily on the street, and also they don't need to cook long time. Also, the delicious, sharp-taste and cheap price attract the people. However, these foods have plenty of evidence that is proven scientifically. First of all, food has high calories. Fast food use a lot of oil and condiments, and nutrients are not good. Because of instant food's fats, modern people easily can get weight. In addition, people use their own car or public transportation. This circumstance reduces people's physical activities and ruins human body balance. The development of technology increases obesity thesedays. The worker-holic situation makes the trend that people prefer to have simplified instant food that can eat easily and fastly.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Jin!
Thank you for your ideas.  We really need to be healthy even if we are surrounded by an unhealthy kind of diet.  There are still many ways to maintain good health.  ^^

~T. Maine


As the quality of modern lives is improved, people's eating habits are also changed. 
>>Correct. 
This is because they seek convenient life due to their busy routines. 
>>This is because they seek a convenient life due to their busy routines. 
For instance, people prefer to eat simplify, such as junk food. 
>>For instance, people prefer to eat simply such as junk food. 
These foods are lopsided with nutrients. 
>>Correct. 
People can buy it easily on the street, and also they don't need to cook long time. 
>>People can buy it easily on the street, and they also don't need to cook it for a long time. 
Also, the delicious, sharp-taste and cheap price attract the people.
>>Correct. 
However, these foods have plenty of evidence that is proven scientifically. 
>>Correct. 
First of all, food has high calories. 
>>Correct. 
Fast food use a lot of oil and condiments, and nutrients are not good.
>>Fast food uses a lot of oil, condiments, and other contents which are not good for the health. 
Because of instant food's fats, modern people easily can get weight. 
>>Correct. 
In addition, people use their own car or public transportation. 
>>Correct. 
This circumstance reduces people's physical activities and ruins human body balance. 
>>Correct. 
The development of technology increases obesity thesedays. 
>>The development of technology increases obesity these days. 
The worker-holic situation makes the trend that people prefer to have simplified instant food that can eat easily and fastly.
>>The workaholic situation makes the trend that people prefer to have simplified as instant.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
117143 homework 권*미 완료 2022-03-08 1
117142 Hardest part 신*진 완료 2022-03-08 1021
117141 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... 류*주 완료 2022-03-08 652
117140 A book i want to keep 김*윤 완료 2022-03-08 539
117139 Homework 기*현 완료 2022-03-08 845
117138 Tuesday Homework 류*우 완료 2022-03-08 695
117137 HOMEWORK: How could you make fruit juices by yourself? / What... 서*안 완료 2022-03-08 1174
117136 If you had a million dollars, what would you do? 성*우 완료 2022-03-08 888
117135 Do you think it is necessary to experiment on animals to test... 성*우 완료 2022-03-08 1275
117134 Why Fintech? 문*현 완료 2022-03-08 937
117133 Tell me something you know about Dinosaurs. 주*빈 완료 2022-03-08 428
117132 Why Bloomberg? (Why did you choose to apply in Bloomberg?) 문*현 완료 2022-03-08 1279
117131 What do you know about the Bloomberg? 문*현 완료 2022-03-08 1147
117130 Homework 이*빈 완료 2022-03-08 919
117129 China\'s birth rate at record low in 2021 유*진 완료 2022-03-08 2
117128 Homework 방*영 완료 2022-03-08 1149
117127 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... 이*하 완료 2022-03-08 954
117126 manpower 권*희 완료 2022-03-08 1209
117125 homework 하*주 완료 2022-03-08 3
117124 Homework 함*주 완료 2022-03-08 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]