¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it is important for men to join the military service in South Korea? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-03-22 1407

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, actually, the war between South Korea and North Korea is already over.
We can see that North Korea is making a lot of weapons and doing experiments.
But I think it is not a signal for the war, it is just a sign that they could protect themselves from other threats.
U.S wants to keep in check to China, and North Korea knows it.
Because of that, North Korea is afraid of the attack from U.S.
So I think they are making a lot of weapons and the experiments about them.
And also if they make a war with South Korea, then they will get more damages because of the war.
But we have to always be careful about the war.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my opinion, actually, the war between South Korea and North Korea is already over.
>> In my opinion, the war between South Korea and North Korea is already over.

We can see that North Korea is making a lot of weapons and doing experiments.
>>CORRECT

But I think it is not a signal for the war, it is just a sign that they could protect themselves from other threats.
>> But I think that it is not a signal for the war, it is just a sign that they could protect themselves from other threats.

U.S wants to keep in check to China, and North Korea knows it.
>> The USA wants to keep in check with China and North Korea knows it. 

Because of that, North Korea is afraid of the attack from U.S.
>> And because of that, North Korea is afraid of USA. 

So I think they are making a lot of weapons and the experiments about them.
>> I think that they are making a lot of weapons and the experiments about them.

And also if they make a war with South Korea, then they will get more damages because of the war.
>> Also, if there is a war here in South Korea, it will cause a lot of damages. 

But we have to always be careful about the war.
>> This is why we have to be careful regarding wars. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117074 03.04 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1
117073 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 0
117072 What is the best public transportation in your country? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1
117071 Find the adjectives in the sentences. 1. You should consider... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1
117070 Super power ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 666
117069 Which greeting kind of annoys you? Why? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1
117068 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 3
117067 Shopaholic ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 2
117066 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 1427
117065 Researching a Number Concept Assignment °­*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-06 656
117064 If you can have your own business, what would it be and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 414
117063 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 867
117062 I\'m a passionate... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 1095
117061 2022.3.4 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-05 806
117060 If you can have your own business, what would it be and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 975
117059 ANSWER YOUER HOMEWORK QUESTION! ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 863
117058 What can you say about people who often miss deadlines? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 876
117057 3/4 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 811
117056 Writing 3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0
117055 Writing 2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-04 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04