¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÁÖ
2022-03-23 869

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
What should your government do about your problem of an old age society? Share your answer in a few sentences.

According to news, the population has been decreasing since 2020. The government keeps pay attention to old people in order to solve the difficult problem.

It seem to be an error in my feedback. Some of feedbacks is same sentences. Could you check this? Thank you.

I hope your arthritis gets better soon. Have a meaningful day too. Donna!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Hae Ju!

First of all, my apologies again for the same feedback on your sentences. They have been  rectified on your page. Here they are as well: 

1. Yeah, I'm back to work from last Friday.
>> Correct!
>> Yeah, I have been back to work since last Friday.

4. Good point is I go to the Pilates today.
>> The good (point/ thing) is I will go to Pilates today.

6. I really want to travel the world with ship.
>> Correct!
Or:  I really want to travel the world with a ship.

7. Recently, I watched the YouTube.
>> Recently, I watched YouTube.

I am not sure why I missed to check so many sentences today but I promise to  never commit the same mistakes again. 

Anyway, my foot is absolutely alright now! Like magic, it disappeared!

Meanwhile, here on your answer, I agree with you that the older people need to be convinced that they can have children and the government will support them. Thank you very much for your time in reading your sentences on your page. I hope that the grammar suggestions can help you in one way or another to memorize grammar patterns.

Take care and see you again on Friday!

Good night! ^^

-T. Donna =)

According to news, the population has been decreasing since 2020. 
>> Correct!

The government keeps pay attention to old people in order to solve the difficult problem.
>> The government should keep paying attention to old people in order to solve the difficult problem.

It seem to be an error in my feedback. Some of feedbacks is same sentences. 
>>  There seems to be an error in my feedback. Some of the feedbacks are the same sentences. 

Could you check this? Thank you.
>> Correct!

I hope your arthritis gets better soon. Have a meaningful day too. Donna!
>> Correct!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120474 What was the last thing you returned or exchanged? Why?/ How... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 2
120473 What is your daily routine? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1004
120472 Do you think people make bad decisions because of peer pressure?... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 1554
120471 Which is better, renting or buying? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 4
120470 Who influenced you the most in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-06 2025
120469 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1066
120468 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1103
120467 Who in your family or among your friends has the most... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 552
120466 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1122
120465 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 776
120464 How much time do you spend listening to music? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 703
120463 7/5 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 806
120462 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 894
120461 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120460 What new hobbies would you like to try? ±è*°â ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 824
120459 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 2
120458 If a woman wants an abortion, what rights does the father have? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 1117
120457 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 990
120456 Homework for 07.05.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 3
120455 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-05 3497

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04