¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÁÖ
2022-03-23 645

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
What should your government do about your problem of an old age society? Share your answer in a few sentences.

According to news, the population has been decreasing since 2020. The government keeps pay attention to old people in order to solve the difficult problem.

It seem to be an error in my feedback. Some of feedbacks is same sentences. Could you check this? Thank you.

I hope your arthritis gets better soon. Have a meaningful day too. Donna!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Hae Ju!

First of all, my apologies again for the same feedback on your sentences. They have been  rectified on your page. Here they are as well: 

1. Yeah, I'm back to work from last Friday.
>> Correct!
>> Yeah, I have been back to work since last Friday.

4. Good point is I go to the Pilates today.
>> The good (point/ thing) is I will go to Pilates today.

6. I really want to travel the world with ship.
>> Correct!
Or:  I really want to travel the world with a ship.

7. Recently, I watched the YouTube.
>> Recently, I watched YouTube.

I am not sure why I missed to check so many sentences today but I promise to  never commit the same mistakes again. 

Anyway, my foot is absolutely alright now! Like magic, it disappeared!

Meanwhile, here on your answer, I agree with you that the older people need to be convinced that they can have children and the government will support them. Thank you very much for your time in reading your sentences on your page. I hope that the grammar suggestions can help you in one way or another to memorize grammar patterns.

Take care and see you again on Friday!

Good night! ^^

-T. Donna =)

According to news, the population has been decreasing since 2020. 
>> Correct!

The government keeps pay attention to old people in order to solve the difficult problem.
>> The government should keep paying attention to old people in order to solve the difficult problem.

It seem to be an error in my feedback. Some of feedbacks is same sentences. 
>>  There seems to be an error in my feedback. Some of the feedbacks are the same sentences. 

Could you check this? Thank you.
>> Correct!

I hope your arthritis gets better soon. Have a meaningful day too. Donna!
>> Correct!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119520 6.1 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-06-02 498
119519 vacation ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-02 573
119518 What is your most traumatic experience? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-02 363
119517 Can you talk about two places you would like to go on vacation? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 652
119516 Where do you want to go for your next business trip? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 4
119515 What kind of organization are you dreaming of creating? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 700
119514 6/1 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 355
119513 Do you agree that companies should be fined if they don¡¯t... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 637
119512 What do you think is the biggest contributing factor to young... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 524
119511 Complete the sentences ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 449
119510 What makes you want to stay in your town for a very long time or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 688
119509 What is your opinion about Xenophobia in your country? Does it... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 854
119508 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 424
119507 What advice would you give to people staring in business? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 1
119506 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 531
119505 Do you think that most people are naturally able to get along... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 2
119504 What was the most interesting thing you did during a holiday? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 520
119503 How important are clocks for you? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 497
119502 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 514
119501 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-01 770

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04