¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you can change something about your lifestyle, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-04-25 419

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can change something about my lifestyle, than I want to exercise more.
Nowadays, I have to prepare about a lot of exams, and also I have so many things to learn.
Because of these reasons, I have to study a lot.
And because of this, I don't have enough time to exercise a lot.
But I want to make a stronger body, and then I need to exercise a lot.
So I want to make some times that I can exercise freely in my lifestyle.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! 

These changes can really change your lifestyle more efficiently. I hope you will be successful in doing so. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

If I can change something about my lifestyle, than I want to exercise more.
>> If I can change something about my lifestyle, it would be exercising more. 

Nowadays, I have to prepare about a lot of exams, and also I have so many things to learn.
>> Nowadays, I have to prepare for a lot of exams, and I have so many things to learn.

Because of these reasons, I have to study a lot.
>> Because of these reasons, I have to study a lot and I have less time to exercise. 

And because of this, I don't have enough time to exercise a lot.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

But I want to make a stronger body, and then I need to exercise a lot.
>> But I want to make my body stronger so I need to exercise a lot.

So I want to make some times that I can exercise freely in my lifestyle.
>> This is why I want to make more time to exercise freely in my lifestyle. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118456 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 1
118455 How to make spaghetti sauce ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 9
118454 2022.4.22 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-23 453
118453 4/22 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 459
118452 What is the best part of weekend vacation? What\'s the worst? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 513
118451 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 3
118450 How is the Internet affecting our intelligence? Describe your... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 532
118449 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 481
118448 part 2 ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 461
118447 Why do we need weekends? What are your plans for this weekend? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 513
118446 What restaurant in your country do you recommend a foreigner to... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 503
118445 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 366
118444 What do you think about the government\'s plan to allow people... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 2
118443 What benefits do you think the compulsory military will give to... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 529
118442 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 563
118441 What video game do you think is best and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 614
118440 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 480
118439 Money that should be used in the short term was saved in the... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 478
118438 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 0
118437 homework ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-22 640

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04