¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it important to have hobbies? Why/why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*±â
2022-06-14 727

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that I should to have hobbies, because the hobby can give me some energy and health of both body and spirit.
Also, many people can get stress to work and the stress will give them some bad efects. The hobby can help to release stress.
So, I think that the hobby is necessary to ours.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Simon. Thank you for sending me your homework. I agree with you that a hobby is important to people. We should continue doing what we love. ~T. Lyn
I think that I should to have hobbies, because the hobby can give me some energy and health of both body and spirit.
>>I think that I should have hobbies because doing activities can give me some energy and health for both my body and spirit.
Also, many people can get stress to work and the stress will give them some bad efects. 
>>Also, many people are stressed because of working and that stress will give them some bad effects.
The hobby can help to release stress.
>>Hobby helps and allows us to release stress.
So, I think that hobby is necessary to ours.
>>Therefore, I think that hobby is necessary for us.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119854 Who do you think is the best president of your country and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-15 612
119853 6.14 Writing ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 382
119852 6/14... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 570
119851 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 602
119850 What\'s the best movie. À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 835
119849 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 2
119848 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 678
119847 Is it important to have hobbies? Why/why not? À±*±â ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 727
119846 homework ¿ø*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 388
119845 homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 434
119844 I think the food in our country is the best. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 527
119843 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 0
119842 What could be a reason why you are late for an appointment?... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 447
119841 What is your dream house and where do you want it to be? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 671
119840 [Homework] Q. Would you like to go on a shopping holiday? Why or... ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1
119839 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 357
119838 About losing our four distinct seasons ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 2
119837 home work ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 270
119836 Soeun\'s Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 458
119835 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04