¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea is best country in the world

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-06-29 1092

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think I am a Korean, that's why I think Korea is best country in the world.
Because Korea is very safety country.
People doesn't care other people things.
And sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem walking around late at night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann!  

Yes, everyone should have love for their country. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think I am a Korean, that's why I think Korea is best country in the world.
>> Since I am Korean, I think that South Korea is the best country in the world. 

Because Korea is very safety country.
>> It is because it is very safe here. 

People doesn't care other people things.
>> People don't care about other things. 

And sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem walking around late at night.
>>Sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem when it comes to walking around late at night.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122283 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 1678
122282 How is English different from Chinese? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-13 2947
122281 Weekends Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-12 1
122280 09.08.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-12 1
122279 Describe one very close friend you have ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-12 3
122278 Which do you think is more dangerous, a flood or a drought? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-12 1
122277 What news do you need every day? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-12 2242
122276 Post a picture of yourself at the most memorable festival you... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-10 2225
122275 Why would you like to go to Psy\'s concert? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-09-09 2727
122274 Dream home ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1776
122273 9/8 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2568
122272 English performance test ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2841
122271 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3347
122270 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2
122269 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3226
122268 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2585
122267 The fake news is the problem. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1981
122266 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122265 What kinds of diet do you know? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 5
122264 Which good habit do you think would be the most difficult to... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2855

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04