¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea is best country in the world

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-06-29 1091

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think I am a Korean, that's why I think Korea is best country in the world.
Because Korea is very safety country.
People doesn't care other people things.
And sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem walking around late at night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann!  

Yes, everyone should have love for their country. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think I am a Korean, that's why I think Korea is best country in the world.
>> Since I am Korean, I think that South Korea is the best country in the world. 

Because Korea is very safety country.
>> It is because it is very safe here. 

People doesn't care other people things.
>> People don't care about other things. 

And sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem walking around late at night.
>>Sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem when it comes to walking around late at night.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
122262 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2149
122261 Who changes their mind more often? Men or women? ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3
122260 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2
122259 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1
122258 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 20
122257 Can you think of some reason why people don\'t keep dogs or cats? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1871
122256 wording ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 1939
122255 9/8 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2063
122254 Why do you want to learn other languages? What are the benefits... ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2613
122253 09.07.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3
122252 What nonverbal action is offensive to you? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122251 How did you meet your best friend? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 3
122250 Some artworks can cause a fortune. Do you think the value of... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2
122249 Making Kimchichigae Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 0
122248 9/7 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2619
122247 How would you describe a healthy diet? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-08 2335
122246 Home ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 3115
122245 People often say: ¡°It¡¯s easy to tell when politicians lie -... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2463
122244 9/7 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2605
122243 What¡¯s the latest thing you¡¯ve had an interest in? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2022-09-07 2111

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04