¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea is best country in the world

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-06-29 962

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think I am a Korean, that's why I think Korea is best country in the world.
Because Korea is very safety country.
People doesn't care other people things.
And sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem walking around late at night.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann!  

Yes, everyone should have love for their country. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think I am a Korean, that's why I think Korea is best country in the world.
>> Since I am Korean, I think that South Korea is the best country in the world. 

Because Korea is very safety country.
>> It is because it is very safe here. 

People doesn't care other people things.
>> People don't care about other things. 

And sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem walking around late at night.
>>Sometimes it's dangerous but there's no problem when it comes to walking around late at night.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120310 What do people in your country collect? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1085
120309 How do you feel about your parents growing older? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1088
120308 What was the biggest challenge you\'ve faced this year? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1633
120307 How can teachers/professors try to prevent students from... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 902
120306 6/29 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 1034
120305 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 778
120304 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 676
120303 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 0
120302 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 7
120301 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 0
120300 Korea is best country in the world ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 962
120299 What do you think is the most difficult job? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 1003
120298 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 658
120297 Do you like women wearing make-up or no make-up? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 2
120296 Homework ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 1008
120295 What do you think is the best country in the world and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 0
120294 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 3
120293 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 954
120292 What is easy .... ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 955
120291 Why do so many people live below the poverty line? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 966

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04