¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Of all the places you¡¯ve visited, whether it be in Korea or abroad, which would you recommend to you

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ä*¼®
2022-07-11 688

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯ve travelled over 60 countries up to now.
Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria where Film Sound of music was pictured. OF course the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.

The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. It¡¯s a Snow kingdom. I met there native of Sweden and several reindeers.

The third place is Olando Florida, U.S.A. Where the Disney world is. When I visited there, I experienced 3D Screen for the first Time. Except that there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Charley!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I¡¯ve travelled over 60 countries up to now.

>> I've travelled  to over 60 countries.


Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria where Film Sound of music was pictured. 

>> Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria, where the film Sound of Music was pictured. 

OF course the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.
>> Of course, the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.

The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. 

>> The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. 

It¡¯s a Snow kingdom. I met there native of Sweden and several reindeers.
>> It¡¯s a snow kingdom and I met natives of Sweden and several reindeers.

The third place is Olando Florida, U.S.A. Where the Disney world is.

>> The third place is Orlando Florida, U.S.A, where the Disney World is.

When I visited there, I experienced 3D Screen for the first Time. Except that there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

>> When I visited that place, I experienced 3D Screen for the first time and there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120282 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 867
120281 Impression ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 3
120280 The Internet Is a Threat to Physical Book ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 585
120279 close ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 543
120278 What is the longest time you have been away from home? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 1
120277 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 907
120276 How can we prevent accidents caused by DUIs (Driving Under... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 1
120275 greeting ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 484
120274 What is your favorite form of art and why? ÇÑ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 825
120273 Do you think you can be a minimalist? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 632
120272 How would you like to be assisted when you got some problems... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 615
120271 What is your main goal or purpose in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 629
120270 Do you wake up happy every morning? Explain your answer. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-28 678
120269 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-28 793
120268 Writing Task(Jun 28th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-06-28 462
120267 Writing Task(Jun 27th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-06-28 790
120266 What was the biggest challenge you\'ve faced this year? À¯*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-28 3
120265 6/28 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-28 725
120264 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-28 1
120263 According to the article, underage crimes began to grab the... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-28 720

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04