¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Of all the places you¡¯ve visited, whether it be in Korea or abroad, which would you recommend to you

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ä*¼®
2022-07-11 901

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯ve travelled over 60 countries up to now.
Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria where Film Sound of music was pictured. OF course the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.

The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. It¡¯s a Snow kingdom. I met there native of Sweden and several reindeers.

The third place is Olando Florida, U.S.A. Where the Disney world is. When I visited there, I experienced 3D Screen for the first Time. Except that there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Charley!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I¡¯ve travelled over 60 countries up to now.

>> I've travelled  to over 60 countries.


Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria where Film Sound of music was pictured. 

>> Among them, the most amazing place for me is Salzburg Austria, where the film Sound of Music was pictured. 

OF course the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.
>> Of course, the landscape is beautiful and peaceful.

The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. 

>> The second place is Ajeflog, northern province of Sweden. 

It¡¯s a Snow kingdom. I met there native of Sweden and several reindeers.
>> It¡¯s a snow kingdom and I met natives of Sweden and several reindeers.

The third place is Olando Florida, U.S.A. Where the Disney world is.

>> The third place is Orlando Florida, U.S.A, where the Disney World is.

When I visited there, I experienced 3D Screen for the first Time. Except that there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

>> When I visited that place, I experienced 3D Screen for the first time and there are so many awesome and beautiful places.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
121530 Do you work better alone or with a team? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1172
121529 What do you shop for and who do you shop with? ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1519
121528 I think people can be best friends with the opposite sex. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1358
121527 On the Internet, you can say whatever you want. Is that true? Is... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1130
121526 What makes you a good friend? Is it easy for you to make friends? ÃÖ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1378
121525 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1
121524 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1116
121523 1. How often do you use the internet? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 883
121522 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1269
121521 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 909
121520 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1085
121519 What have you experienced as the benefits or detriments of being... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1187
121518 Are you in favor/against the government¡¯s plan to lower the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 922
121517 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 0
121516 Haunted house ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 3
121515 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1032
121514 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1721
121513 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 1293
121512 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2
121511 homework ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-08-11 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04