¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your opinion about the all-day schooling policy?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2022-08-18 991

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Child-caring is the most serious social problem that our sociey has to solve. Most households have a difficulty to find nanny due to the service fees and service quality. It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before, It usually takes time to fully believe a helper. So, many parents ask their mother to take care of their children because they can save money and gurantee children's safety. If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problem. Firstly, it will lower the quality of education. Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most time at school. I guess that few students would use the service because parents feel sorry for their children to send them in these facilities for a long time. Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from the work. Lastly, we already have after-school classes that are provided until 8 p.m. I think that it would be better if there is a supp

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Sir Hwang!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

Child-caring is the most serious social problem that our sociey has to solve. 
>> CORRECT!
Most households have a difficulty to find nanny due to the service fees and service quality. 
>> Most households have a difficulty to find a nanny due to the service fees and service quality. 
OR >> Most households have a difficulty to find nannies due to the service fees and service quality. 
It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before, It usually takes time to fully believe a helper. 
>> It is not easy to live someone who we haven't met before; it usually takes time to fully believe a helper. 
So, many parents ask their mother to take care of their children because they can save money and gurantee children's safety. 
>> CORRECT!
If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problem.
>> If the government provide proper service, I am willing to use it but all-day schooling has a lot of problems.
Firstly, it will lower the quality of education. 
>> CORRECT!
Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most time at school. 
>>  Secondly, students might feel lonely because they spend most of their time at school. 
I guess that few students would use the service because parents feel sorry for their children to send them in these facilities for a long time. 
>> CORRECT!
Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from the work. 
>> Many students will go home after school or when their parents come back home from work. 
Lastly, we already have after-school classes that are provided until 8 p.m. 
>> CORRECT!
I think that it would be better if there is a supp
>> I think it would be better if there is a support coming from the government.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120325 Can the government do anything to improve people¡¯s health? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1074
120324 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 0
120323 How do you feel when someone disagrees with everything you have... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 0
120322 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1363
120321 What are the most effective ways to make new friends? ÀÌ*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1
120320 Abroad ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 2
120319 1. homework Á¶*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 2
120318 Should your country accept refugees? Why or why not? ¹é*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 843
120317 self introduction ¼Õ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 3
120316 Books Have The Power to Change The World ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 895
120315 Q È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 3
120314 Do you think it\'s okay to drink rainwater? ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 701
120313 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1198
120312 homework À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1172
120311 dinner with my family ¼­*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 655
120310 What do people in your country collect? Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1027
120309 How do you feel about your parents growing older? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 990
120308 What was the biggest challenge you\'ve faced this year? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-06-30 1416
120307 How can teachers/professors try to prevent students from... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 795
120306 6/29 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-06-29 923

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04