¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

11/22 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-12-22 1491

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Driving own car is very convenient because people could go anywhere anytime.
Especially, driving is so useful on the season when the weather is too hot or cold to walk outside.
However, people should keep some points to drive safely.
Using mobile phone during driving is too dangerous.
So I try not to use mobile phone as far as possible.
If I have to call someone, I used to connect bluetooth to get my both hands free.
Also, I keep the speed limit.
It's important to concentrate on driving, so I listen to music or radio with low volume.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there. Dr. Stella!

Driving is a very important skill. As a doctor, you need to be mobile and ready anytime your patient needs help. Anyway, driving safely is the top priority on the road. It is a matter of life and death. So, focus on the drive and keep your eyes on the road at all times.

Below are my grammar suggestions to some of your sentences. Of courese you got so many sentences correctly and I am so glad about them! Once again, the use of 'the' is one common suggestion. Please go over thme below.

Thank you very much for your time and effort in writing this composition!

-T. Donna~

Driving own car is very convenient because people could go anywhere anytime.
>> Driving one's  own car is very convenient because people could go anywhere anytime.

Especially, driving is so useful on the season when the weather is too hot or cold to walk outside.
>> Correct!
Or: Driving is so useful on the season especially when the weather is too hot or cold to walk outside.

However, people should keep some points to drive safely.
>> Correct!

Using mobile phone during driving is too dangerous.
>> Correct!

So I try not to use mobile phone as far as possible.
>> So I try not to use the mobile phone as much as possible.

If I have to call someone, I used to connect bluetooth to get my both hands free.
>>  If I have to call someone, I used to connect the bluetooth to get both of my hands free.

Also, I keep the speed limit.
>> Correct!

It's important to concentrate on driving, so I listen to music or radio with low volume.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125622 What do you picture yourself doing 10 years from now? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 871
125621 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125620 What is your favorite all-time game? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1292
125619 Has China sent spy balloons to your country? Share your answer... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 3
125618 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 0
125617 Best memory in the sky ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2
125616 Have gun at home is very dangerous. ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 834
125615 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125614 WRITING TASK: Do you think the type of vacation one takes... ¹Ú*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 876
125613 moms ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1217
125612 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 871
125611 Which country would you NOT like to visit? Why? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 972
125610 My work environment ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2
125609 13.Feb.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1
125608 1. land animals 2. rabbit ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 2
125607 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1031
125606 if i can change my life À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-14 1062
125605 What\'s your thought on companies having office uniforms? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 3
125604 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1
125603 homework 02.13 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1681

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04