¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

11/22 homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çö
2022-12-22 1488

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Driving own car is very convenient because people could go anywhere anytime.
Especially, driving is so useful on the season when the weather is too hot or cold to walk outside.
However, people should keep some points to drive safely.
Using mobile phone during driving is too dangerous.
So I try not to use mobile phone as far as possible.
If I have to call someone, I used to connect bluetooth to get my both hands free.
Also, I keep the speed limit.
It's important to concentrate on driving, so I listen to music or radio with low volume.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there. Dr. Stella!

Driving is a very important skill. As a doctor, you need to be mobile and ready anytime your patient needs help. Anyway, driving safely is the top priority on the road. It is a matter of life and death. So, focus on the drive and keep your eyes on the road at all times.

Below are my grammar suggestions to some of your sentences. Of courese you got so many sentences correctly and I am so glad about them! Once again, the use of 'the' is one common suggestion. Please go over thme below.

Thank you very much for your time and effort in writing this composition!

-T. Donna~

Driving own car is very convenient because people could go anywhere anytime.
>> Driving one's  own car is very convenient because people could go anywhere anytime.

Especially, driving is so useful on the season when the weather is too hot or cold to walk outside.
>> Correct!
Or: Driving is so useful on the season especially when the weather is too hot or cold to walk outside.

However, people should keep some points to drive safely.
>> Correct!

Using mobile phone during driving is too dangerous.
>> Correct!

So I try not to use mobile phone as far as possible.
>> So I try not to use the mobile phone as much as possible.

If I have to call someone, I used to connect bluetooth to get my both hands free.
>>  If I have to call someone, I used to connect the bluetooth to get both of my hands free.

Also, I keep the speed limit.
>> Correct!

It's important to concentrate on driving, so I listen to music or radio with low volume.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125574 Do nothing ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 2
125573 It is responsibility of parents for chlidren to become... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1142
125572 What would you need to do to be happy? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1376
125571 How do you start your day? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1294
125570 Which country do you wish to visit, and why? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1326
125569 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 1
125568 [Homework] What is the most famous festival in your country? ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 2
125567 Family ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 2
125566 2/13 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 5
125565 What did you do last weekend? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-13 0
125564 Education ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 1524
125563 Reason of English fluency ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 1299
125562 Why do you think people commit crimes? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 1385
125561 What is the dirtiest job you could think of? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 1461
125560 Why do you think people pursue to study abroad? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 1558
125559 rule ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 3
125558 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 4
125557 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 1373
125556 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 2
125555 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-12 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04