¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think rural populations think about the pollution and mess cities are creating?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-22 1034

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People in rural areas usually live here all through their years. So They might feel sick at the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. Moreover, the lifestyle of the city is totally different from the one of the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. As the story of a city mouse and a country mouse shows us, many people from country to city will head back to the country because of the city¡¯s cold individualism and polluted environments.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Steve!

Here's your edited composition. 
I appreciate your sending it. See you soon! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



          What do you think rural populations think about the pollution and mess cities are creating?

People in rural areas usually live here all through their years.
>> OR: Rural people have mostly lived here all their life. 

So They might feel sick at the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 
>> So they might feel sick and tired of the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 
>> OR: Consquently, they might feel sick owing to the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 

Moreover, the lifestyle of the city is totally different from the one of the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. 
>> Moreover, the lifestyle in the city is totally different from the one in the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. 

As the story of a city mouse and a country mouse shows us, many people from country to city will head back to the country because of the city¡¯s cold individualism and polluted environments.
>> OR: As shown in the story of a city mouse and a country mouse, many people from the country who moved to the city will eventually head back to the country because of the city's cold individualism and polluted environment. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125347 The Risk of dangerous. ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-05 1178
125346 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-05 1246
125345 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-05 1345
125344 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-05 1914
125343 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-05 1099
125342 When are secrets a good thing? Why? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-05 2345
125341 Why do you think it\'s difficult for people to talk about... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-05 1560
125340 homework ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-02-05 1179
125339 Have you ever complained about the food or service in a... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-04 1
125338 Do you sometimes find it easy to make alternatives when there... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-04 3
125337 How do people fall in love? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-04 1091
125336 2023-2/3 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1143
125335 Lesson 5 : Homework ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1192
125334 Why we have to use store ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 0
125333 There are four kinds of people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 0
125332 Why do some people like eating out? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 2
125331 What did you realize after all the preparations you have made as... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1305
125330 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1053
125329 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 3
125328 What is you phobia and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1394

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04