¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think rural populations think about the pollution and mess cities are creating?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-02-22 1038

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

People in rural areas usually live here all through their years. So They might feel sick at the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. Moreover, the lifestyle of the city is totally different from the one of the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. As the story of a city mouse and a country mouse shows us, many people from country to city will head back to the country because of the city¡¯s cold individualism and polluted environments.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Steve!

Here's your edited composition. 
I appreciate your sending it. See you soon! 

Cheers,
Jean~~



          What do you think rural populations think about the pollution and mess cities are creating?

People in rural areas usually live here all through their years.
>> OR: Rural people have mostly lived here all their life. 

So They might feel sick at the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 
>> So they might feel sick and tired of the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 
>> OR: Consquently, they might feel sick owing to the hustle and bustle of the city and polluted air. 

Moreover, the lifestyle of the city is totally different from the one of the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. 
>> Moreover, the lifestyle in the city is totally different from the one in the country, where people are more inclined to care for each other. 

As the story of a city mouse and a country mouse shows us, many people from country to city will head back to the country because of the city¡¯s cold individualism and polluted environments.
>> OR: As shown in the story of a city mouse and a country mouse, many people from the country who moved to the city will eventually head back to the country because of the city's cold individualism and polluted environment. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125318 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 998
125317 I agree. ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1709
125316 What do you like to do on the weekend? ¹è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1390
125315 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1
125314 create ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1044
125313 homework Æí*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1
125312 Digital currency lead people to creditor. ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1265
125311 Homework ¼Õ*±Ù ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1107
125310 Can you easily adapt to changes? Why or why not? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1107
125309 Is it worth it to spend your money on food? Why do you think so? ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1
125308 What Korean food will you recommend to a foreigner and why? Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1361
125307 02.Feb.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1
125306 What do you like to do at the beach? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 0
125305 What is your favorite movie genre? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 0
125304 Which is better, studying in a private school, public school or... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1272
125303 I think ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-03 1238
125302 Is it rude to tell the person that they need to improve their... ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-02 1493
125301 Why is it difficult for some people to say sorry? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-02 1101
125300 2023-2/2 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-02 1387
125299 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-02 1363

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04