¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing task

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*Çü
2023-03-30 1750

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that human is the most dangerous factor. And the war is the most brutal event among people. So Ukraine is too dangerous to visit these days. Ukraine and Russia are fighting in Ukraine for 2 years. We can get involved in the war. By the way, I hope that they stop the war now.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Happy Friday, Robin!
Wow! You did great in your composition. I can really see that you can express yourself better now. I just added a different way to say some sentences, but overall, all your sentences are correct. Keep it up.
-T. Caitlyn
I think that human is the most dangerous factor. 
>> CORRECT
And the war is the most brutal event among people. 
>> OR: War is one of the most brutal events that can occur among people.
So Ukraine is too dangerous to visit these days.
>> CORRECT
Ukraine and Russia are fighting in Ukraine for 2 years. 
>> OR: The war between Ukraine and Russia in Ukraine has been ongoing for two years.
We can get involved in the war. 
>> CORRECT
By the way, I hope that they stop the war now.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126359 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-09 1223
126358 2023-3/8 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1879
126357 homework Æí*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1
126356 how do yo deal a stressful situation ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1
126355 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1316
126354 homework Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1619
126353 Homework ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1150
126352 Iife is Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 2
126351 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1246
126350 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1973
126349 homework 03.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1062
126348 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 4
126347 picture ¹Ú*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1285
126346 Hw ÃÖ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 967
126345 homework ½Å*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 0
126344 Hate thing when I get home Áö*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1309
126343 Hw ÃÖ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1075
126342 How many hours can you really work efficiently and effectively?... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1
126341 I want to learn English to¡¦ ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1577
126340 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04