¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think sleep is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-06-07 1329

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Sleeping is one of the essential and vital things to keep us healthy physically and mentally. We sometimes find somebody more cranky or grumpy out of his character because of lacking sleeping time, which doesn't do well for them. Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on business and studying so that you can fulfill great achievements. Therefore, you can't overemphasize the importance of enough sleep.
Some people who consider sleep as nothing good for anything try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. However, the truth is far from it. We humans can only recover, get animated, and even be inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, that is sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
I want to advise you to sleep as much as you can because there are so many people suffering from insomnia, You should enjoy sleeping while you can.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Steve!
Your composition is impressive. Continue your good progress. See you later!
~T. Demi ^^
Sleeping is one of the essential and vital things to keep us healthy physically and mentally. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Sleeping is one of the essential things to keep us healthy physically and mentally.
We sometimes find somebody more cranky or grumpy out of his character because of lacking sleeping time, which doesn't do well for them. 
CORRECT!
OR>> We sometimes find somebody more grumpy out of his character because of sleep deprivation, which doesn't do well for them. 
Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on business and studying so that you can fulfill great achievements. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on your business or studies to fulfill outstanding achievements.
Therefore, you can't overemphasize the importance of enough sleep.
>> CORRECT!
Some people who consider sleep as nothing good for anything try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Some people who consider sleeping insignificant try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. 
However, the truth is far from it. 
>> CORRECT!
We humans can only recover, get animated, and even be inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. 
>> We humans can only recover, get animated, and be even inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. 
So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, that is sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
CORRECT!
OR>> So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, indicating that sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
I want to advise you to sleep as much as you can because there are so many people suffering from insomnia, You should enjoy sleeping while you can.
CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128283 Some people who commit suicide leave a suicide note, what do you... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 5
128282 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 0
128281 Why are families important? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1915
128280 My country!! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1729
128279 Who are you most proud of among your relatives? Who do you look... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1866
128278 Homework for 05/17 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 3
128277 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 0
128276 What do you do to help your mom do some house chores? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2
128275 Is having a positive thinking really important? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1
128274 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1629
128273 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 0
128272 How do you order food in English? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2405
128271 Food I\'ve never tried ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2173
128270 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2030
128269 Diary20230517(part2) Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1646
128268 Diary20230517(part1) Á¶*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2064
128267 It\'s nice to see you again, too. Harmony~! Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2293
128266 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2144
128265 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1
128264 May.17 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1890

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04