¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think sleep is important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2023-06-07 1330

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Sleeping is one of the essential and vital things to keep us healthy physically and mentally. We sometimes find somebody more cranky or grumpy out of his character because of lacking sleeping time, which doesn't do well for them. Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on business and studying so that you can fulfill great achievements. Therefore, you can't overemphasize the importance of enough sleep.
Some people who consider sleep as nothing good for anything try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. However, the truth is far from it. We humans can only recover, get animated, and even be inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, that is sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
I want to advise you to sleep as much as you can because there are so many people suffering from insomnia, You should enjoy sleeping while you can.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Steve!
Your composition is impressive. Continue your good progress. See you later!
~T. Demi ^^
Sleeping is one of the essential and vital things to keep us healthy physically and mentally. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Sleeping is one of the essential things to keep us healthy physically and mentally.
We sometimes find somebody more cranky or grumpy out of his character because of lacking sleeping time, which doesn't do well for them. 
CORRECT!
OR>> We sometimes find somebody more grumpy out of his character because of sleep deprivation, which doesn't do well for them. 
Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on business and studying so that you can fulfill great achievements. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Enough sleep can ensure that you can concentrate on your business or studies to fulfill outstanding achievements.
Therefore, you can't overemphasize the importance of enough sleep.
>> CORRECT!
Some people who consider sleep as nothing good for anything try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. 
CORRECT!
OR>> Some people who consider sleeping insignificant try to reduce their sleeping time for more productivity. 
However, the truth is far from it. 
>> CORRECT!
We humans can only recover, get animated, and even be inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. 
>> We humans can only recover, get animated, and be even inspired during sleeping time physically and mentally. 
So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, that is sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
CORRECT!
OR>> So as the oriental old saying goes, sleep is like a step backward for two steps forward afterward, indicating that sleep is worthwhile investing your precious time in your life.
I want to advise you to sleep as much as you can because there are so many people suffering from insomnia, You should enjoy sleeping while you can.
CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128263 Because of my job, it is cancer. ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1
128262 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1
128261 sharenting ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 2783
128260 Homework ¿ì*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-17 1689
128259 Aside from English, what other language would you want to be... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 2544
128258 How has the internet changed the music industry? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 2
128257 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1765
128256 homework 05-16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 2396
128255 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 0
128254 Is it better to err on the side of strictness or leniency with... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 5
128253 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 0
128252 I don\'t want it. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1919
128251 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 0
128250 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1
128249 Is playing video games good or bad? Why? Kindly answer in not... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1117
128248 A musical instrument I want to learn ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 2135
128247 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1
128246 What is your favorite fruit and why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1
128245 What is your favorite computer games? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 1535
128244 To keep passion alive ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-16 2223

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04