¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Jake\'s wirting homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °­*ÀÌ
2023-07-18 4584

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree with that, because if you want to enjoy something, you should practice hard for it. Also, there are lots of proverbs that relate to this. Ex: No pain No gain or Dream is not easy. Many famous people always say that they worked very hard to get to this position. So, we can know that if we want to achieve our goal, we should work really hard.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Jake! This was a good start for your writing however, I'd like to inform you that IELTS Writing Task 2 requires 250 words!  Nevertheless, you should practice writing longer next time. Have a goodnight!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree with that, because if you want to enjoy something, you should practice hard for it.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> I agree with the statement because if you want to enjoy something, you should practice hardly. 
 Also, there are lots of proverbs that relate to this. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> Moreover, there are proverbs which are related to this. 
Ex: No pain No gain or Dreams are not easy.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Many famous people always say that they worked very hard to get to this position. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>> Many famous people always quote that they strived hard to get to their position. 
So, we can know that if we want to achieve our goal, we should work really hard.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>> So, we know that if we want to achieve our goal, we should work really hard.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133748 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2112
133747 What do you think about arranged marriage? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2513
133746 Traditional food °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2825
133745 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2219
133744 What is sucess for you? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2397
133743 1.Which greeting kind of annoys you? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2619
133742 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2
133741 The best appointment ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2334
133740 What does a perfect weekend look like to you? Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 0
133739 1/4 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 3
133738 Homework : unit 18 ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 5
133737 What I did on last Saturday ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2196
133736 How do you feel when you think you are not prepared for... ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 1
133735 What is the happiest moment that you have experienced with your... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 3327
133734 8.Jan homework do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 2189
133733 homework 01.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 2183
133732 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 1
133731 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 2
133730 Turning me off ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 2873
133729 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 121

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04