¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe the worst trip you ever took. Where did you go? What made it a bad trip?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ö*ÁÖ
2023-07-18 3477

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My family went to Bito Island to go camping five years ago. The weather on the Island was so beautiful and my family had a relaxing time. However, when we ate some seafood for dinner, the problem happened. We suffered from stomachache because The seafood that we ate went bad. Ultimately, my family had to return home earlier than we expected.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yun Ju! 

I appreciate you sharing your story! Always check your food before consuming it. Make sure the food is stored securely and isn't contaminated. If it has a bad smell, there's a big chance that it's already spoiled. 

- Kristine ^^ 

My family went to Bito Island to go camping five years ago.
>> Correct.
Or >> Five years ago, my family and I went camping in Bito Island.
The weather on the Island was so beautiful and my family had a relaxing time. 
>> My family and I enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere and lovely weather on the island.
However, when we ate some seafood for dinner, the problem happened. 
>> However, we had a problem when we had seafood for dinner. 
We suffered from stomachache because The seafood that we ate went bad. 
>> We had stomachaches because of the spoiled seafood we consumed.
Ultimately, my family had to return home earlier than we expected.
>> My family eventually had to depart sooner than we had planned.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129609 What are some new features offered by streaming services that... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 5
129608 Writing Task 0717 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 0
129607 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 1
129606 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2604
129605 2023.7.18 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2623
129604 What is your dream summer vacation? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 3848
129603 After natural disaster¡¦. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2710
129602 Describe the worst trip you ever took. Where did you go? What... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 3477
129601 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2935
129600 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 4662
129599 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2948
129598 English ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 2897
129597 exercising ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 1
129596 Jake\'s wirting homework °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 3503
129595 The needed ability to be aircraft controller ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 3153
129594 Homework 7/17 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 0
129593 Homework 7/14 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 0
129592 How are the social habits of people who live in the countryside... ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 3189
129591 homework È«*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 3348
129590 What are some challenges you think the next generation will face? ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-18 4430

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04