¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

About long average working hour

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ÈÆ
2024-04-09 3358

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I disagree about working for long hours. Actually, In this country, people used to work on saturday until noon. However, in 2003, the government announced that the saturday would be full holiday. Even though, economists were predicted that policy would cause economic crisis. Nowadays It is revealed the prediction is wrong. Also I heard reporting on research about effectiveness of work. In short, the group who works 4 days a week work more effective than the other group who works 5 days a week.
In conclusion, working for long hours doesn't relate with effectiveness.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Se Hun~!^^ It's great to know that you're always enthusiastic when completing your writings! Continue to have  a well-developed vocabulary.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I disagree about working for long hours. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Actually, In this country, people used to work on saturday until noon. 
>>> Actually, in this country, some people work on Saturdays until noontime.
However, in 2003, the government announced that the saturday would be full holiday. 
>>> However, in 2003, the government announced that Saturday would a rest day.
Even though, economists were predicted that policy would cause economic crisis.
>>> Even though, economists predicted that the policy would cause economic crisis.
Nowadays It is revealed the prediction is wrong.
>>> Nowadays, it is revealed that the prediction is wrong.
Also I heard reporting on research about effectiveness of work.
>>> Also, I heard some report on research about the effectiveness of work.
In short, the group who works 4 days a week work more effective than the other group who works 5 days a week.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
In conclusion, working for long hours doesn't relate with effectiveness.
>>> In conclusion, working for long hours doesn't have something to do with efficiency.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136238 My parent\'s advice ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 2608
136237 What makes a bad cafe? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1
136236 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 2944
136235 How important is it to encourage children to take up hobbies? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 0
136234 About long average working hour Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 3358
136233 HOMEWORK: Why do people need to learn English as a second... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 2261
136232 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 3538
136231 HOMEWORK: Describe your favorite person. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 2626
136230 Do you think having siblings or being an only child is better?... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 2901
136229 HOMEWORK: What is the best thing to do in Spring Season? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 2437
136228 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 2381
136227 Describe the beautiful flowers you see in spring. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 1
136226 Reflect on a challenge you faced and how you overcame it. Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 2674
136225 Homework ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 3514
136224 What is your favorite cafe? Why? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 0
136223 Where do you want to be seated in a restaurant, a smoking or a... ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 2235
136222 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 2202
136221 Saving something for you ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 3042
136220 When is it okay to quit and when is it not okay to quit? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 0
136219 Why is it important to rest and relax during a long weekend? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 5133

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04