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Are people obsessed with appearance today? Why? Why not?

작성자: 송*라
2024-07-30 2885

회원님의 영작문

Today, people are super obsessed with appearance.
People are obsessed with a nice and skinny body and beautiful faces.
The main reason why people are obsessed with appearance is that people tend to consider appearance as a competitiveness.
Many people think that the more beautiful they are the more advantageous they are for whatever they do.
Even though their jobs don’t require physically attractiveness, they usually try to improve their appearance to be more attractive. That’s why people sometimes endure painful plastic surgeries as well.
I hope people are obsessed with appearance not for how they are looked by other people but their self-esteem or self-confidence!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Yura! Thank you for sharing your opinions. At the end of the day, I believe that one should be beautiful not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. Have a great day! ^^
~ T. Jewel
Today, people are super obsessed with appearance.
>>Today, people are highly obsessed with their appearance.
People are obsessed with a nice and skinny body and beautiful faces.
>>People are obsessed with having a slim figure and attractive facial features.
The main reason why people are obsessed with appearance is that people tend to consider appearance as a competitiveness.
>>The main reason people are obsessed with appearance is that they tend to view it as a form of competitiveness.
Many people think that the more beautiful they are the more advantageous they are for whatever they do.
>>Many people think that being more beautiful gives them an advantage in whatever they do.
Even though their jobs don’t require physically attractiveness, they usually try to improve their appearance to be more attractive.
>>CORRECT
OR
>>Even though their jobs don’t require physical attractiveness, they often try to enhance their appearance to look more attractive.
That’s why people sometimes endure painful plastic surgeries as well.
>>That’s why people sometimes go through painful plastic surgeries.
I hope people are obsessed with appearance not for how they are looked by other people but their self-esteem or self-confidence!
>>I hope people focus on appearance not for how others view them, but for their own self-esteem and self-confidence.
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