무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Being physically attractive

작성자: 박*경
2024-10-04 2469

회원님의 영작문

This is the section that I never have thaught before. But, when we have a attractive body, there are several advantages clearly. Let me tell some benefits.
On the one hand, we can have confidence. It seems difficult to deny that we feel confident when we lose weight and do selfcare regularly. In this case, selfcare could include exercise of muscle, stretching, pilates...etc. I can tell my experience in this regard. Since last year, I regularly have done exercise and increased muscle mass. Also, I have reduced my body fat, too. Even though I was a confident person enough before losing weight, it is obvious that I gain more confidence from the fact that I have made an effort, and I'm the person who can do anything. This is a big benefit for oneself.
On the other hand, we can encounter others who have good feeling for us. Of course, the difference of appearance shouldn't be a basis for discrimination. However, it is natural for human to be attracted by beautiful or good-looking someone.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. Casey! Appearance could play a huge role in someone's life, especially in this day and age. People are into appearance and some advances in technology make a lot of procedures possible. But, I believe that inner beauty matters more. 
-T.Sonny
This is the section that I never have thaught before. 
>>This is something that I have never thought before.
But, when we have a attractive body, there are several advantages clearly. 
>>But, when we have an attractive body, there are several advantages, for sure. 
Let me tell some benefits.
>>Let me tell you some benefits.
On the one hand, we can have confidence. 
>>On one hand, we can have confidence. 
It seems difficult to deny that we feel confident when we lose weight and do selfcare regularly. 
>>It seems difficult to deny that we feel confident when we lose weight and do self-care regularly. 
In this case, selfcare could include exercise of muscle, stretching, pilates...etc. 
>>In this case, self-care could include muscle exercises, stretching, Pilates and many more. 
I can tell my experience in this regard. 
>>I can tell you my experience in this regard. 
Since last year, I regularly have done exercise and increased muscle mass. 
>>Correct!
Also, I have reduced my body fat, too. 
>>Correct!
Even though I was a confident person enough before losing weight, it is obvious that I gain more confidence from the fact that I have made an effort, and I'm the person who can do anything. 
>>Even though I was a confident person enough before losing weight, it is obvious that I gained more confidence from the fact that I have made an effort, and it felt like I am someone who can do anything. 
This is a big benefit for oneself.
>>This provides a huge satisfaction to oneself.
On the other hand, we can encounter others who have good feeling for us. 
>>On the other hand, we can encounter others who have good feelings for us. 
Of course, the difference of appearance shouldn't be a basis for discrimination. 
>>Of course, the difference in appearance shouldn't be a basis for discrimination. 
However, it is natural for human to be attracted by beautiful or good-looking someone.
>>However, it is natural for humans to be attracted by good looks.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
141741 30 임*실 완료 2025-01-02 2087
141740 Homework 장*희 완료 2025-01-02 2
141739 Spend your time on good activities 김*우 완료 2025-01-02 1
141738 How can you convince someone to stop smoking? 이*훈 완료 2025-01-02 1648
141737 Homework & Question 이*주 완료 2025-01-02 1912
141736 homework 김*우 완료 2025-01-02 1
141735 What is the most popular place in your country? Describe it. 박*은 완료 2025-01-02 2070
141734 If you could create a new holiday, what would it celebrate, and... 박*은 완료 2025-01-02 2278
141733 Describe a place that makes you feel happy and explain why it’s... 박*은 완료 2025-01-02 1910
141732 What are your new year\'s resolutions? Explain. 박*은 완료 2025-01-02 2078
141731 How do companies in your country treat sick workers? Do... 김*규 완료 2025-01-02 3
141730 How do you plan to stay motivated in continuing or doing your... 노*철 완료 2025-01-02 2076
141729 New Year beats inertia 임*준 완료 2025-01-02 2106
141728 What’s one change you want to make in your daily routine for... 임*미 완료 2025-01-02 1853
141727 Dear Gemma, I took a mistake!!! 이*형 완료 2025-01-02 2353
141726 Homework 오*봄 완료 2025-01-02 2
141725 What schoolwork do you enjoy doing? Explain. 차*혁 완료 2025-01-01 1972
141724 How will you achieve your goals? 조*명 완료 2024-12-31 2324
141723 How can the accident at Jeju Air be related to your course... 이*준 완료 2024-12-30 2268
141722 Provide at least five (5) adjectives that you can use to... 이*준 완료 2024-12-30 1955

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]