¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is a better means of livelihood, employment in a company or entrepreneurship?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-12-12 1526

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think employment in a company is a better means of livelihood.
Firstly, one of the most significant advantages of being employed by a company is the stability it offers. In an unpredictable economy, job security is a crucial factor for many individuals.Employment in a company typically provides a steady income, which allows employees to plan their finances more effectively.
Secondly, employment in a company often comes with a range of benefits that enhance the overall quality of life. Many companies offer health insurance, retirement plans, paid leave, and other perks that are not readily available to entrepreneurs. These benefits contribute to the well-being of employees and their families, providing a safety net that can be crucial in times of need.
In conclusion, while entrepreneurship can be an exciting and rewarding path for some, employment in a company is a better means of livelihood for the majority.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Great job on this one! There was a very minor correction. Your idea is on point Let us discuss further in the class. See you!
-Teacher Anji

I think employment in a company is a better means of livelihood.
>> I think employment at a company is a better means of livelihood.
Firstly, one of the most significant advantages of being employed by a company is the stability it offers. 
>> CORRECT
In an unpredictable economy, job security is a crucial factor for many individuals.Employment in a company typically provides a steady income, which allows employees to plan their finances more effectively.
>> CORRECT
Secondly, employment in a company often comes with a range of benefits that enhance the overall quality of life. 
>> CORRECT
Many companies offer health insurance, retirement plans, paid leave, and other perks that are not readily available to entrepreneurs.
>> CORRECT
These benefits contribute to the well-being of employees and their families, providing a safety net that can be crucial in times of need.
>> CORRECT
In conclusion, while entrepreneurship can be an exciting and rewarding path for some, employment in a company is a better means of livelihood for the majority.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141856 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1776
141855 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1691
141854 How do you plan to fund your studies? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141853 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1381
141852 What can we do to improve our relationship with our friends? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1747
141851 I like looking at the moon. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1918
141850 250108 homework ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 0
141849 Challenge will make me better person ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141848 What have you lost while traveling? ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141847 Home work ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1845
141846 How do you spend meaningful times with your friends? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141845 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1747
141844 06Jan2025_ Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1520
141843 happiness and economic success ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1484
141842 How do you spend meaningful time together with your family... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1616
141841 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1531
141840 What¡¯s something you admire about your parents? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 3
141839 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1773
141838 Do you have a lucky number? If so, why is it your lucky number? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1446
141837 Tidy living space is very important to me! ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04