¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which is a better means of livelihood, employment in a company or entrepreneurship?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-12-12 1523

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think employment in a company is a better means of livelihood.
Firstly, one of the most significant advantages of being employed by a company is the stability it offers. In an unpredictable economy, job security is a crucial factor for many individuals.Employment in a company typically provides a steady income, which allows employees to plan their finances more effectively.
Secondly, employment in a company often comes with a range of benefits that enhance the overall quality of life. Many companies offer health insurance, retirement plans, paid leave, and other perks that are not readily available to entrepreneurs. These benefits contribute to the well-being of employees and their families, providing a safety net that can be crucial in times of need.
In conclusion, while entrepreneurship can be an exciting and rewarding path for some, employment in a company is a better means of livelihood for the majority.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Great job on this one! There was a very minor correction. Your idea is on point Let us discuss further in the class. See you!
-Teacher Anji

I think employment in a company is a better means of livelihood.
>> I think employment at a company is a better means of livelihood.
Firstly, one of the most significant advantages of being employed by a company is the stability it offers. 
>> CORRECT
In an unpredictable economy, job security is a crucial factor for many individuals.Employment in a company typically provides a steady income, which allows employees to plan their finances more effectively.
>> CORRECT
Secondly, employment in a company often comes with a range of benefits that enhance the overall quality of life. 
>> CORRECT
Many companies offer health insurance, retirement plans, paid leave, and other perks that are not readily available to entrepreneurs.
>> CORRECT
These benefits contribute to the well-being of employees and their families, providing a safety net that can be crucial in times of need.
>> CORRECT
In conclusion, while entrepreneurship can be an exciting and rewarding path for some, employment in a company is a better means of livelihood for the majority.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141778 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 2270
141777 Who do you think was the best president in your country? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 1815
141776 What are the top two things you can\'t do without any help? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 1659
141775 18 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 1700
141774 3 ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 1754
141773 Do you look more like your mother or your father? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 1
141772 What motivates you to be a better teacher? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 4
141771 My goals in 2025 Àº*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-04 9
141770 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-04 1
141769 Homework ³ª*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-04 1
141768 Why do our interests change over time? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-04 2107
141767 Working holiday get to new things in new country. ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-01-04 1587
141766 What is your new year resolution for 2025? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-01-04 1669
141765 Do you celebrate Seollal? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-04 1
141764 Happiness isn\'t choice. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1593
141763 I wanted to be a soccer player😊 ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1
141762 What is your main New Year\'s resolusion this year? ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1548
141761 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1890
141760 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 2037
141759 How did you feel when you first started learning English? Was it... ¹è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-03 1865

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04