¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

\"Importance of Rest and Balance in a Busy Life¡°

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-02-01 1439

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

For us living in the modern world, the harmony between working and having a break is so important.
If I drive a long distance without a break, I would arrive at my destination quickly, but serious problems or accidents can occur for both driver and car.
Having a break and balance in a busy life helps me look back on where I am going and help me work more efficiently on what I do.
I need management in my life to have rest and balance.
Just as the boss reduce non-critical departments in the company and expand more important departments, I also need the courage to eliminate non-critical activities in my life and invest in me for more important activities.
Investment in me includes rest, education, and hobbies, and eventually becomes the driving force for me to do my work healthy for a long time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

David, your writing presents a great reflection on balance and self-care. Your points are strong, and your message is meaningful. Keep up the great work in expressing your thoughts.


~ T. Lia


For us living in the modern world, the harmony between working and having a break is so important.
>> CORRECT


If I drive a long distance without a break, I would arrive at my destination quickly, but serious problems or accidents can occur for both driver and car.
>> If I drive a long distance without a break, I would arrive at my destination quickly, but serious problems or accidents can occur for both the driver and the car.


Having a break and balance in a busy life helps me look back on where I am going and help me work more efficiently on what I do.
>> Having a break and balance in a busy life helps me look back on where I am going and helps me work more efficiently on what I do.


I need management in my life to have rest and balance.
>> I need to manage my life to have rest and balance.


Just as the boss reduce non-critical departments in the company and expand more important departments, I also need the courage to eliminate non-critical activities in my life and invest in me for more important activities.
>> Just as the boss reduces non-critical departments in the company and expands more important departments, I also need the courage to eliminate non-critical activities in my life and invest in myself for more important activities.


Investment in me includes rest, education, and hobbies, and eventually becomes the driving force for me to do my work healthy for a long time.
>> Investment in myself includes rest, education, and hobbies, and eventually becomes the driving force for me to do my work healthily for a long time.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144333 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 2
144332 Which do you prefer: more money or increased popularity? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 316
144331 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 292
144330 Do you enjoy your birthdays? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 0
144329 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 276
144328 What is the best local event or festival in your country? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 272
144327 When do you usually spend lavishly? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 1
144326 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 1
144325 Do you like Harry Potter? À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 278
144324 How do you deal with a bad mood? What activity do you engage in... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 258
144323 How do financial concerns affect people as they age? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 272
144322 What¡¯s the biggest adventure you¡¯ve had in your life? Á¶*¸® ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 283
144321 homework ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 284
144320 What kind of life are you working forward? ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 273
144319 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 266
144318 If we sell the construction site ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 318
144317 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 275
144316 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 306
144315 What do you know about our company? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 2
144314 What is your major and why did you choose that major? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04