¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

wealthy, poorer nations

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2025-03-08 914

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

One of the biggest challenges we face today is how to deal with poorer nations.
Some argue that poorer nations should develop their resources themselves.
However, I believe that wealthy countries need to help counterpart of them.

One primary reason is that each country cannot alive alone.
When it comes to biological cycle, every creatures exist by helping one another.
Occasion of Korea is a good example.
In the past, Korea was dominated by Japan and suffered War.
These things made the nation poor.
Fortunately, A majority of neighbor countries helped Korea so it can develop from the bottom of economy.
In conclusion, wealthy nations should share their goods to poorer nations.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seung Min!
Your ideas are strong.
I just refined the grammar and word choice for clarity and natural flow. 
If you have questions, don't hesitate to ask.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
One of the biggest challenges we face today is how to deal with poorer nations.
>> Correct
Some argue that poorer nations should develop their resources themselves.
>> Correct
However, I believe that wealthy countries need to help counterpart of them.
>> However, I believe that wealthy countries need to help as their counterparts.
One primary reason is that each country cannot alive alone.
>> One primary reason is that no country can survive alone.
When it comes to biological cycle, every creatures exist by helping one another.
>> When it comes to the biological cycle, all creatures exist by helping one another.
Occasion of Korea is a good example.
>> The case of Korea is a good example.
In the past, Korea was dominated by Japan and suffered War.
>> In the past, Korea was dominated by Japan and suffered through war.
These things made the nation poor.
>> These events left the nation in poverty.
Fortunately, A majority of neighbor countries helped Korea so it can develop from the bottom of economy.
>> Fortunately, a majority of neighboring countries helped Korea, allowing it to rebuild its economy from the ground up.
In conclusion, wealthy nations should share their goods to poorer nations.
>> In conclusion, wealthy nations should share their resources with poorer nations.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142789 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 974
142788 homework ±è*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1029
142787 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1026
142786 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 947
142785 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 2
142784 If you could wish for a wedding gift from a friend, what would... ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1051
142783 Drinking È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 976
142782 Absent ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 821
142781 What is a goal that you¡¯ve recently achieved? ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 907
142780 Why people can\'t stop working though they are satisfied with... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 3
142779 What would you do if you craved chicken in the middle of the... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 851
142778 What exercises do you think are not suitable for women? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 3
142777 homework Á¶*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1092
142776 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 969
142775 Do you think parties are fun even without alcohol? Why? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 847
142774 2025.02.27 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 752
142773 What i like to do on a sunny day. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 2
142772 What¡¯s the most unique food you¡¯ve tried? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1
142771 2/26 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1
142770 Talk about an unforgettable experience on a public... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-27 1059

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04