¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ÀÎ
2025-03-10 952

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I totally agree with the opinion that sports are important part of education.
First of all, by sports students can improve their physical strength. And this physical strength is basic for the everything in the world. Even studying, that seems to work out without lots of movement, actually requires lots of stamina, since the one has to be keep focused by using his or her brain. To let students try various things without strength limitation, it's necessary to help reinforce stamina by educating sports.
Second, sports help students have strong mental health. In sports games, students experience competing with each other. Sometimes they are winner but sometimes they are loser. Through this they learn how to control their own minds. And in the process of working hard to win they can understand the hardships they have to overcome to achieve a goal and they would be able to handle more stressful things later.
Therefore I think sports are necessary in the education.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Ms. WooIn! I completely agree with you! They offer much more than physical fitness; they teach life skills that will benefit students long after they graduate. Thank you for sharing!
-T. Sonny
I totally agree with the opinion that sports are important part of education.
>>I totally agree with the opinion that sports are an important part of education.
First of all, by sports students can improve their physical strength. 
>>First of all, sports help students improve their physical strength.
And this physical strength is basic for the everything in the world. 
>>This physical strength is fundamental for everything in the world.
Even studying, that seems to work out without lots of movement, actually requires lots of stamina, since the one has to be keep focused by using his or her brain. 
>>Even studying, which might seem like it doesn¡¯t require much physical movement, actually demands a lot of stamina because one must stay focused and use their brain.
To let students try various things without strength limitation, it's necessary to help reinforce stamina by educating sports.
>>To allow students to try various activities without being limited by physical strength, it is necessary to help reinforce stamina through sports education.
Second, sports help students have strong mental health. 
>>Second, sports help students have mental strength.
In sports games, students experience competing with each other. 
>>In sports competitions, students experience both winning and losing.
Sometimes they are winner but sometimes they are loser. 
>>Sometimes they are winners, but sometimes they are losers.
Through this they learn how to control their own minds. 
>>Through this, they learn how to control their emotions and manage both success and failure.
And in the process of working hard to win they can understand the hardships they have to overcome to achieve a goal and they would be able to handle more stressful things later.
>>Additionally, by working hard to achieve victory, they understand the challenges they must overcome to reach their goals and help them develop the resilience to handle more stressful situations in the future.
Therefore I think sports are necessary in the education.
>>Therefore, I believe sports are necessary in education.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141797 What was your best travel experience so far? ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1
141796 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1547
141795 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1728
141794 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 2215
141793 Homework ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1796
141792 homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1
141791 Homework ÇÑ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1
141790 What great suggestion have you ever received? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 2
141789 How do you say \'r\' and \'l\' correctly? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 5
141788 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1938
141787 How do you feel when someone asks you a personal question... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1766
141786 economic development vs. social values ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1771
141785 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1687
141784 Phuket ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 1622
141783 Do you prefer using self-service laundromats or full-service... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-06 2
141782 Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try. —... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 1494
141781 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 1
141780 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 2208
141779 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 1933
141778 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-05 2274

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04