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homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*Çö
2025-03-12 818

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please check my file.

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Hello, Bo Hyeon!
Your response has a lot of great details, and I can see that you put effort into describing your experience in Tokyo! You included key information about where you went, who you traveled with, and what you enjoyed the most, which is great for IELTS. However, to make your writing clearer and more fluent, focus on improving sentence structure, word choice, and transitions between ideas. Some sentences feel a little unnatural, and there are a few grammar mistakes, especially with verb tense and articles. Try to use more descriptive words instead of repeating the same phrases, and work on making your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Keep practicing, and you'll get better! ^^

Please prepare for the class. See you!
~ Trixia

CONTENT:
I¡¯ve gone a lot of country, among the various country, I would recommend Tokyo
in Janpan.
- I¡¯ve traveled to many countries, and among them, I would recommend Tokyo, Japan.
I¡¯ve sticked around for 2 days Shibuya in Tokyo with mom before a year ago.

- I stayed in Shibuya for two days with my mom about a year ago. 

We had vistied to Time Scramble in Shibuya, and we were very surprised because
we didn¡¯t know that how many many dessert shop they had.
- We visited the famous Shibuya Scramble and were surprised by the number of dessert shops there.
Actually, I¡¯m interested in desserts and pastries so I couldn¡¯t wait to try a lot of
cakes and chocolates, moreover they had a reasonable prices.
- Since I love desserts and pastries, I couldn¡¯t wait to try a variety of cakes and chocolates. They were also reasonably priced.
I bought 2 pieces of cakes and some chocolate and tried them and gussed which
ingredients they had.
- I bought two pieces of cake and some chocolate, tasted them, and tried to guess the ingredients.
All desserts was great but, Especially, the chocolate had an impressive flavor and
texture, in my opinion there was some alcohol and a little bisket within chocolate.
- All the desserts were excellent, but I especially loved the chocolate. It had a rich flavor and smooth texture. In my opinion, there was a hint of alcohol and a touch of biscuit inside.
After we sent enjoy time in the Scramble, I went to Tokyo tower next day.
I saw the whole Tokyo in the tower, I felt overwhelmed by the beautiful scenery.
- After enjoying our time at the Scramble, I visited Tokyo Tower the next day. Seeing the entire city from the tower was breathtaking. 
Although I don¡¯t like to go high place like tower or building, Tokyo tower was
really huge and nice place.

- Although I don¡¯t usually like high places such as towers or tall buildings, Tokyo Tower was massive and a fantastic place to visit.

One of the most best thing while We traveling in Japan, we gained confidence of
speak with foreigner and could learn their culture and life style.

- One of the best things about traveling in Japan was gaining confidence in speaking with foreigners and learning about their culture and way of life.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141872 Homework 3 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1657
141871 how long do you think you could survive being unemployed? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1886
141870 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1717
141869 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1367
141868 millennials ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1
141867 Who inspired you to become who you are now? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 4
141866 What is your suggestion to make English easier to speak? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 3
141865 What¡¯s something you¡¯re thankful for your family? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1893
141864 H/W ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1366
141863 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1815
141862 \'collective intelligence\' ÇÑ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1622
141861 I can¡¯t study today and tomorrow ±è*³ª ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 0
141860 Which is your busiest day of the week? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1631
141859 How much do you like eating out? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-09 1654
141858 Homework 2 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1602
141857 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141856 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1776
141855 Please change difficult words to easy words and correct them so... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1690
141854 How do you plan to fund your studies? Á¶*¸í ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1
141853 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-01-08 1381

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