¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever felt that painting takes too much time and effort?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ³ë*ö
2025-03-26 579

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It takes a lot of time and effort for all art, whether it's music or art.
As I said yesterday, I woke up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.
In fact, art was a good choice because sound does not harm others like music.
The work of drawing has been interesting for several months and all the members who worked with me have worked hard.
But as time passed, the members disappeared one by one, and I ended up alone.
At first, I could see my growth clearly through the picture.
After 6 months or so, I was continuing to paint a similar level.
I felt that raising my level one step required too much time and effort.
I thought that the reason why the members gave up art one by one was because of the same thoughts as me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi David, your writing beautifully captures the struggle of learning and the emotions that come with it. Additionally, your response was well-structured and conveyed a clear reflection on your artistic journey. Your ideas were easy to follow, but there were a few grammar adjustments needed for smoother readability. Pay close attention to word choices and sentence flow, especially when comparing concepts. I added more details to expand on your thoughts and included encouragement to remind you that hitting a plateau doesn¡¯t mean stopping. It means you¡¯re on the verge of a breakthrough. Great effort! Keep going, and remember that every great artist has felt this way at some point. 

~ T. Lia

It takes a lot of time and effort for all art, whether it's music or art.
>> It takes a lot of time and effort for all forms of art, whether it's music or visual art.

As I said yesterday, I woke up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.
>> As I said yesterday, I used to wake up early due to insomnia last year, so I needed activities to do at dawn.

In fact, art was a good choice because sound does not harm others like music.
>> In fact, art was a good choice because, unlike music, it does not produce sound that could disturb others.

The work of drawing has been interesting for several months and all the members who worked with me have worked hard.
>> Drawing has been interesting for several months, and all the members who worked with me put in a lot of effort.

But as time passed, the members disappeared one by one, and I ended up alone.
>> However, as time passed, the members left one by one, and I ended up alone.

At first, I could see my growth clearly through the picture.
>> At first, I could see my progress clearly through my drawings.

After 6 months or so, I was continuing to paint a similar level.
>> After about six months, I found myself painting at a similar level.

I felt that raising my level one step required too much time and effort.
>> CORRECT

I thought that the reason why the members gave up art one by one was because of the same thoughts as me.
>> I thought the reason the members gave up art one by one was that they had the same thoughts as I did.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
142496 What factors influence a career choice? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1164
142495 Do you think failure is important for success? Why or why not? ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1
142494 Should governments regulate AI development more strictly? ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1262
142493 Do you always agree with your husband? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 2
142492 What makes you happy these days? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1407
142491 How do you focus on what you need to do? Explain. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1177
142490 How do you tell off your daughters for things you want them to... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1236
142489 What does ¡°stay positive in a negative situation¡± mean? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1267
142488 In your opinion, what is the best age to be, and what makes that... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1038
142487 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1050
142486 Homework ³ª*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1
142485 In 5 sentences, please write your expectations from the class... È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 960
142484 If you found an ATM that mistakenly gave you extra cash, what... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1115
142483 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1045
142482 script Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-13 1174
142481 How do you handle nervousness before giving a presentation? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 1078
142480 What activities do you find boring but others find interesting?... ÀÌ*Áß ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 2
142479 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 0
142478 When was the last time you faced a difficult situation? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 2
142477 What kinds of personality traits do you hate? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-02-12 1024

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04