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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What kind of change would you like to see in your political system ?

작성자: 박*호
2025-04-04 1123

회원님의 영작문

First of all, thank you for giving me homework related to class every day. I am also glad that you are interested in Korean politics and can understand what I am saying.
As you know, Korea has grown rapidly since independence in 1945, but it is still divided into the South and the North.
There are progressive and conservative parties in South Korea, and they have been in conflict.
The progressive parties in Korea aim for unification rather than ideology.
On the other hand, the conservative party, which is the current ruling party, emphasizes ideology. Therefore, it is hostile to North Korea, which is ruled by the Communist Party.
As a progressive person, I hope that the South and the North will be unified. If Korea is unified, Korea will become a richer and stronger country.
So, I hope that the impeachment of the president will be an opportunity for progressives and conservatives to make concessions and work toward the unification of Korea.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Soon Ho^^
Thank you for sharing.
Honestly, I am not that interested in politics. 
The thing is, I often see the videos and articles about politics most especially these days.
_T. SHAY^^
***
First of all, thank you for giving me homework related to class every day. 
>>First of all, thank you for giving me homework related to our class every day.
OR: Before anything else, thank you for giving me class-related homework every day.
I am also glad that you are interested in Korean politics and can understand what I am saying.
>>Correct
OR: It's great that you're interested in Korean politics and can relate to what I'm saying.
As you know, Korea has grown rapidly since independence in 1945, but it is still divided into the South and the North.
>>As you know, Korea has grown rapidly since its independence in 1945, but it is still divided into the South and the North.
There are progressive and conservative parties in South Korea, and they have been in conflict.
>>Correct
OR: South Korea has both progressive and conservative parties, and they have often clashed.
The progressive parties in Korea aim for unification rather than ideology.
>>Correct
OR: Progressive parties in Korea prioritize unification over ideology.
On the other hand, the conservative party, which is the current ruling party, emphasizes ideology. 
>>Correct
OR: Meanwhile, the ruling conservative party prioritizes ideology.
Therefore, it is hostile to North Korea, which is ruled by the Communist Party.
>>Correct
OR: As a result, it maintains a hostile stance toward North Korea, which is governed by the Communist Party.
As a progressive person, I hope that the South and the North will be unified. 
>>Correct
OR: As someone who values progress, I sincerely hope for the unification of South and North Korea.
If Korea is unified, Korea will become a richer and stronger country.
>>Correct
OR: Unification would make Korea a wealthier and more powerful country.
So, I hope that the impeachment of the president will be an opportunity for progressives and conservatives to make concessions and work toward the unification of Korea.
>>Correct
OR: I hope the impeachment of the president becomes a turning point for progressives and conservatives to come together and focus on the unification of Korea.

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