¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you deal with a bad mood? What activity do you engage in to get into a better mood? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-05-28 18

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I occasionally experience difficult situations and feel depressed. but it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump. One of the most effective methods to deal with my bad mood is exercising. When I was a third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed. but I played football games with my friends every free time. Thanks to that, I could relieve my stress. Even now, I sometimes take a walk or go to the gym when I feel that l need to be refreshed. so I recommend you to have a regular exercise to deal with your moods. Another way to control my mood is to have a hobby related to instruments. whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar. Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on music, I can remove my negative thoughts. If I am under a circumstance that I can't use instruments, just listening to favorite songs also makes me feel better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
I would say that you really work hard.
I know that you have a busy life.
I appreciate that you're writing to improve yourself.
You're showing your commitment to develop yourself.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I occasionally experience difficult situations and feel depressed. 
>> Correct
but it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump. 
>> However, it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump.
One of the most effective methods to deal with my bad mood is exercising. 
>> Correct
When I was a third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed. 
>> When I was in third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed.
but I played football games with my friends every free time. 
>> However, I played football with my friends during my free time.
Thanks to that, I could relieve my stress. 
>> Correct
Even now, I sometimes take a walk or go to the gym when I feel that l need to be refreshed. 
>> Correct
so I recommend you to have a regular exercise to deal with your moods. 
>> So, I recommend having regular exercise to manage your mood.
Another way to control my mood is to have a hobby related to instruments. 
>> Another way I control my emotions is to have a hobby related to instruments.
whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar. 
>> Whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar.
Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on music, I can remove my negative thoughts.
>> Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on it, I can get rid of my negative thoughts.
If I am under a circumstance that I can't use instruments, just listening to favorite songs also makes me feel better.
>> If I¡¯m in a situation where I can¡¯t play an instrument, just listening to my favorite songs also makes me feel better.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144323 How do financial concerns affect people as they age? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 21
144322 What¡¯s the biggest adventure you¡¯ve had in your life? Á¶*¸® ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 23
144321 homework ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 24
144320 What kind of life are you working forward? ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 20
144319 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 20
144318 If we sell the construction site ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 30
144317 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 24
144316 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 23
144315 What do you know about our company? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 1
144314 What is your major and why did you choose that major? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 2
144313 What kind of test is the easiest for you to get a high score on? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 0
144312 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 42
144311 Why are some people happy to give presents? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 0
144310 D6 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 42
144309 homework2 °í*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 0
144308 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 1
144307 homework ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 32
144306 What does your ideal playground look like? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 45
144305 Which is better cartoons or anime?Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 30
144304 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 47

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04