¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How do you deal with a bad mood? What activity do you engage in to get into a better mood? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-05-28 17

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I occasionally experience difficult situations and feel depressed. but it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump. One of the most effective methods to deal with my bad mood is exercising. When I was a third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed. but I played football games with my friends every free time. Thanks to that, I could relieve my stress. Even now, I sometimes take a walk or go to the gym when I feel that l need to be refreshed. so I recommend you to have a regular exercise to deal with your moods. Another way to control my mood is to have a hobby related to instruments. whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar. Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on music, I can remove my negative thoughts. If I am under a circumstance that I can't use instruments, just listening to favorite songs also makes me feel better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
I would say that you really work hard.
I know that you have a busy life.
I appreciate that you're writing to improve yourself.
You're showing your commitment to develop yourself.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I occasionally experience difficult situations and feel depressed. 
>> Correct
but it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump. 
>> However, it is important to overcome those feelings and get out of an emotional slump.
One of the most effective methods to deal with my bad mood is exercising. 
>> Correct
When I was a third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed. 
>> When I was in third grade in high school, I used to suffer from intense academic competition, which made me feel very stressed.
but I played football games with my friends every free time. 
>> However, I played football with my friends during my free time.
Thanks to that, I could relieve my stress. 
>> Correct
Even now, I sometimes take a walk or go to the gym when I feel that l need to be refreshed. 
>> Correct
so I recommend you to have a regular exercise to deal with your moods. 
>> So, I recommend having regular exercise to manage your mood.
Another way to control my mood is to have a hobby related to instruments. 
>> Another way I control my emotions is to have a hobby related to instruments.
whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar. 
>> Whenever I feel nervous or distracted, I play the piano or bass guitar.
Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on music, I can remove my negative thoughts.
>> Playing music makes me feel peaceful, and by concentrating on it, I can get rid of my negative thoughts.
If I am under a circumstance that I can't use instruments, just listening to favorite songs also makes me feel better.
>> If I¡¯m in a situation where I can¡¯t play an instrument, just listening to my favorite songs also makes me feel better.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144303 5/26 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 0
144302 Describe an experience where you purchased an item that was... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 0
144301 0527 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 0
144300 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 40
144299 Why do some people avoid watching or reading the news? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 31
144298 Which is easier to manage, hot weather or cold weather? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 1
144297 How does the weather affect your daily activities? Explain. Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 35
144296 What do you think the world will look like if we don¡¯t act on... ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 50
144295 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 1
144294 What are some ways to stay physically active as you age? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 36
144293 Can you tell me more about your foundational knowledge in... ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 0
144292 What advice would you give someone who doesn¡¯t like to exercise? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 2
144291 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-26 0
144290 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-26 0
144289 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-26 0
144288 If you could travel abroad and visit three places, where do you... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-05-26 37
144287 Does the extreme weather affect your lifestyle? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-26 1
144286 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-26 3
144285 0526 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-26 0
144284 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-26 34

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04