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Which do you prefer: more money or increased popularity?

작성자: 김*경
2025-05-28 662

회원님의 영작문

I’d prefer more money to popularity because popularity is more useless and volatile than money. But I don’t claim that money is everlasting. Money could fly away anytime without my knowing it. As the time goes by, I came to know the power of money and why people can obsessed with having more money.
To say roughly it, popularity supported by money can’t last for a long time. What can you please people with? you would need to treat them with dinner. Or you would need a fancy and expensive suit to make you more charming. In short, to maintain your popularity takes money as well as time or efforts. So I would prefer the more fundamental thing under everything. However, I don’t think money can be a key to all problems. For example, true relationship can come from only love, which I can’t buy with much money.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Steve!^^

Yes, being well-known can frequently result in earning money, but wealth can also provide one a sense of stability and financial security. Along with the chance to save for the future, it can enable people to cover their essential expenses, like housing, food, and medical care.
Each has advantages and disadvantages.

Thank you for completing your composition. See you tomorrow!

__T. Mayleen :)


I’d prefer more money to popularity because popularity is more useless and volatile than money.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: I'd rather have more money than popularity because popularity is less useful and fickle than money.
But I don’t claim that money is everlasting. Money could fly away anytime without my knowing it.
>>> But I don't claim that money is everlasting. Money could fly away anytime without me knowing it.
>>> OR: But I do not argue that money is eternal. Money could fly away at any time without my knowledge.
As the time goes by, I came to know the power of money and why people can obsessed with having more money.
>>> As the time went by, I came to know the power of money and why people can be obsessed with having more money.
To say roughly it, popularity supported by money can’t last for a long time.
>>> To say it roughly, popularity supported by money can't last for a long time.
What can you please people with? you would need to treat them with dinner. Or you would need a fancy and expensive suit to make you more charming.
>>> What can you please people with? You would need to treat them to dinner, or you would need a fancy and expensive suit to make you more charming.
In short, to maintain your popularity takes money as well as time or efforts.
>>> In short, to maintain your popularity takes money as well as time or effort.
So I would prefer the more fundamental thing under everything.
>>> So I would prefer the more fundamental thing over everything.
However, I don’t think money can be a key to all problems. For example, true relationship can come from only love, which I can’t buy with much money.
>>> However, I don't think money can be a key to all problems. For example, a true relationship can come from only love, which I can't buy with any amount of money.

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