¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Which do you prefer: more money or increased popularity?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*°æ
2025-05-28 332

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯d prefer more money to popularity because popularity is more useless and volatile than money. But I don¡¯t claim that money is everlasting. Money could fly away anytime without my knowing it. As the time goes by, I came to know the power of money and why people can obsessed with having more money.
To say roughly it, popularity supported by money can¡¯t last for a long time. What can you please people with? you would need to treat them with dinner. Or you would need a fancy and expensive suit to make you more charming. In short, to maintain your popularity takes money as well as time or efforts. So I would prefer the more fundamental thing under everything. However, I don¡¯t think money can be a key to all problems. For example, true relationship can come from only love, which I can¡¯t buy with much money.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Steve!^^

Yes, being well-known can frequently result in earning money, but wealth can also provide one a sense of stability and financial security. Along with the chance to save for the future, it can enable people to cover their essential expenses, like housing, food, and medical care.
Each has advantages and disadvantages.

Thank you for completing your composition. See you tomorrow!

__T. Mayleen :)


I¡¯d prefer more money to popularity because popularity is more useless and volatile than money.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: I'd rather have more money than popularity because popularity is less useful and fickle than money.
But I don¡¯t claim that money is everlasting. Money could fly away anytime without my knowing it.
>>> But I don't claim that money is everlasting. Money could fly away anytime without me knowing it.
>>> OR: But I do not argue that money is eternal. Money could fly away at any time without my knowledge.
As the time goes by, I came to know the power of money and why people can obsessed with having more money.
>>> As the time went by, I came to know the power of money and why people can be obsessed with having more money.
To say roughly it, popularity supported by money can¡¯t last for a long time.
>>> To say it roughly, popularity supported by money can't last for a long time.
What can you please people with? you would need to treat them with dinner. Or you would need a fancy and expensive suit to make you more charming.
>>> What can you please people with? You would need to treat them to dinner, or you would need a fancy and expensive suit to make you more charming.
In short, to maintain your popularity takes money as well as time or efforts.
>>> In short, to maintain your popularity takes money as well as time or effort.
So I would prefer the more fundamental thing under everything.
>>> So I would prefer the more fundamental thing over everything.
However, I don¡¯t think money can be a key to all problems. For example, true relationship can come from only love, which I can¡¯t buy with much money.
>>> However, I don't think money can be a key to all problems. For example, a true relationship can come from only love, which I can't buy with any amount of money.

Enable GingerCannot connect to Ginger Check your internet connection
or reload the browser
Disable GingerRephraseRephrase with Ginger (Ctrl+Alt+E)
Edit in Ginger
Ginger is checking your text for mistakes...¡¿
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143940 What are some things you can do to support migrant workers in... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-03 365
143939 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 0
143938 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 1
143937 Have you ever been sent on a trip that was outside of your usual... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 0
143936 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 299
143935 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 378
143934 I think that the most beautiful bird is ¡®parrot¡¯. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 334
143933 wedding venues ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 454
143932 fast food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 1
143931 0501 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 1
143930 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 399
143929 homework ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 3
143928 Househusband ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 375
143927 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-02 376
143926 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 452
143925 Would you ever go backpacking through Europe? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 1
143924 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 2
143923 HOMEWORK FOR 04/25 Writing Task: What are some challenges people... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 2
143922 Do you think that holidays are now commercialized? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 2
143921 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-01 327

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04