¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What skills would you like to learn in the future? Explain

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*¼ö
2025-05-29 48

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A skill I would like to learn is how to treat people and influence society in a good way. Once I read a book entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, which made me believe that it is vital to have good relationships with other people. I think the skill cannot be acquired just by understanding related knowledge, but only through many experiences. I originally studied aerospace engineering. Although the name of the subject seems to have many chances to influence people's lives, later I realized the industry is actually very conservative and hard to feel direct achievement because even small innovations can result in serious risks. So I changed my dream of influencing the world not through technological advancement but through more direct ways such as business. It would be more suitable for my personality and creative style. In conclusion, I would like to learn business management skills, especially related to global issues and humanity in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Isaac!
Please take note of connectors and punctuation marks.
I love reading about your ideas.
Keep practicing!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
A skill I would like to learn is how to treat people and influence society in a good way. 
>> Correct
Once I read a book entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, which made me believe that it is vital to have good relationships with other people. 
>> Correct
I think the skill cannot be acquired just by understanding related knowledge, but only through many experiences. 
>> I think this skill can't be acquired just by understanding the related knowledge but it actually takes a lot of experience.
I originally studied aerospace engineering. 
>> Correct
Although the name of the subject seems to have many chances to influence people's lives, later I realized the industry is actually very conservative and hard to feel direct achievement because even small innovations can result in serious risks. 
>> Although the name of the subject suggests it affords many chances to influence people's lives, I later realized that the industry is actually very conservative and it's hard to feel direct achievement because even small innovations can result in serious risks. 
So I changed my dream of influencing the world not through technological advancement but through more direct ways such as business. 
>> So I changed my dream of influencing the world, not through technological advancement but through more direct ways, such as business. 
In conclusion, I would like to learn business management skills, especially related to global issues and humanity in the future.
>> In conclusion, I would like to learn business management skills, especially those related to global issues and humanity in the future.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144325 Do you like Harry Potter? À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 62
144324 How do you deal with a bad mood? What activity do you engage in... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 51
144323 How do financial concerns affect people as they age? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 56
144322 What¡¯s the biggest adventure you¡¯ve had in your life? Á¶*¸® ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 59
144321 homework ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 60
144320 What kind of life are you working forward? ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 52
144319 Homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 59
144318 If we sell the construction site ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 69
144317 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 58
144316 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 58
144315 What do you know about our company? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 1
144314 What is your major and why did you choose that major? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 2
144313 What kind of test is the easiest for you to get a high score on? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-28 0
144312 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 76
144311 Why are some people happy to give presents? ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 0
144310 D6 essay homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 78
144309 homework2 °í*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 0
144308 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 1
144307 homework ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 71
144306 What does your ideal playground look like? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-27 82

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04