¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why is overindulging in food not good?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áø
2025-06-13 201

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Overindulging in food is bad because it would make people unhealthy.
If we get over indulged into a foods, we will eat more than we should. Eating right amount is very important because if it goes over your amount, then it would cause stomachache and you would feel dullness. Also, you would not feel guilty about what you¡¯re eating so you might eat food that are unhealthy. If you get overindulged in food, you would eat fritters which is very oily
In conclusion, enjoying a food is good, but you should not be overindulged and try to eat healthy food during your meal.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you once again for this Eugene. Enjoy your weekend!

Overindulging in food is bad because it would make people unhealthy.
>>> correct  
If we get over indulged into a foods, we will eat more than we should. 
>>>  If we indulged into foods, we will eat more than we should.  
Eating right amount is very important because if it goes over your amount, then it would cause stomachache and you would feel dullness. 
>>>  Eating the right amount is very important because if it goes over your required amount, then it would cause stomachache and you would feel dullness.  
Also, you would not feel guilty about what you¡¯re eating so you might eat food that are unhealthy. 
>>>  correct    
If you get overindulged in food, you would eat fritters which is very oily
>>>  If you overindulge in food, you would eat fritters which are very oily/greasy.
In conclusion, enjoying a food is good, but you should not be overindulged and try to eat healthy food during your meal.
>>>  In conclusion, enjoying food is good, but you should not be overindulged and try to eat healthy food during your meal. 
>>>  OR: In conclusion, enjoying food is good, but you should not overindulge and try to eat healthy food during your meal. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144241 0521 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144240 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 575
144239 Are you the type of person who would help someone who has passed... ÀÓ* ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144238 Writing Exercise: In 5 sentences, please write your expectations... Á¶*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 586
144237 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 0
144236 What are some risks of embracing YOLO fully in life? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 541
144235 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 2
144234 Homework for today ¾ö*¸° ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 601
144233 The homework of 22rd May. Á¶*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 695
144232 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 697
144231 homework ¹Ú*¿í ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 677
144230 Do you feel safe when using the internet? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-22 1
144229 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 0
144228 dd ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 1
144227 What do you think are the main reasons some people still... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 612
144226 Can a nation¡¯s economic policy influence its international... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 653
144225 What is the most popular amusement park in your country, and why... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 596
144224 What do you do if you can¡¯t reach a company¡¯s customer service? À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 0
144223 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 1
144222 New4 ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-21 1235

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04