¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Share one story you\'ve read about the moon.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2025-06-15 251

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Moon about famous story is not water in the moon and not live rabbit on the moon.
So everything animal is not live on the moon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Jimmy.  Please take a look at the corrections below. Have a good afternoon there! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                Share one story you've read about the moon.


Moon about famous story is not water in the moon and not live rabbit on the moon.
So everything animal is not live on the moon.
>> The famous story about the moon is not true - there is no water, and no rabbit living on it. In fact, no animals can survive on the moon.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
143776 ielts speaking p2,3_1 Àü*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143775 0422 IELTS writing Task 2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143774 2025.04.23 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 811
143773 2025.04.22 homework! ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1086
143772 sweet food ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143771 sweet ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 0
143770 Describe a famous person, such as an athlete, actor, or singer.... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 806
143769 Yes, I dance. À¯*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 862
143768 About how do I think of not having a child ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 5
143767 Do you think a planner helps you stay organized or simply gives... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143766 What are the advantages of being able to attend different... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143765 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 798
143764 Foreign construction worker\'s issues ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 826
143763 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 693
143762 HOMEWORK FOR 04/21 Writing Task: What do you hope to achieve in... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143761 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 703
143760 4/22 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143759 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 757
143758 4/23 Homework ±Ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2025-04-23 1
143757 What lessons can be learned from South Korea\'s political crisis? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2025-04-22 701

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04