¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What kind of people are there in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2025-06-19 122

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many kind of people in my city for example doctor, office workers, police officers, firefighter so many kind of people in my city.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yale!

I'm glad to see you doing your homework again. I hope you're feeling much better overall. 

Here's your first corrected composition. Please go over the revisions given below.   


Cheers,
Jean~~




                          

                                      What kind of people are there in your city?


There are many kind of people in my city for example doctor, office workers, police officers, firefighter so many kind of people in my city.
>>> There are many different kinds of people in my city; for example, doctors, office workers, police officers, and firefighters. My city is full of all kinds of people.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
144028 . ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-11 592
144027 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2025-05-11 691
144026 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-11 1
144025 What do you think about school field trips to the Blue House,... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-11 635
144024 Are you a morning person? How do you feel when you wake up in... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-11 752
144023 Homework. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2025-05-11 2
144022 What are the benefits of being a reliable employee in your... À±*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-10 0
144021 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 0
144020 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 0
144019 homework ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 830
144018 0509 IELTS writing Task2 homework ¼Û*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 2
144017 What invention would you like to invent? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 589
144016 I did not receive 6.5 so I am sending new questionnaires... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 622
144015 I did not receive 6.5 so I am sending new questionnaires... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 605
144014 I did not receive 6.5 so I am sending new questionnaires... ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 650
144013 parents affect their children ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 578
144012 ¤Ó Á¶*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 535
144011 I am using 4 planner on my office desk. ÀÌ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 745
144010 Do you think getting along with other people is something you... ¿©*Âù ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 0
144009 Indi film ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2025-05-09 671

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04